Family finally grew, officially at least

So, I’ve been a bit quiet the last little bit here. Lot going on in my personal life. But I wanted to share an exciting event with y’all.

As some of y’all know, we have been fostering a little boy for a little over a year. He is now three. Not to go into great detail (though I could), his mother effectively gave him up, father didn’t even know he existed for a while. He has been in the foster system since just a few months old.

He came to us a little over a year ago:

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This was his first time meeting us. Sitting on the couch with our foster supervisor and his social worker beside him.

It didn’t take long for him to warm up to us, despite his past of being in and out of temporary homes. Sometimes with family, sometimes with fosters.

We decided pretty early on that if God wanted him in our lives, then we would treat him as our own. So we attended all of the Termination or Parental Rights hearings as well as all of his other legal hearings. When his parents failed to even put up much of a fight for him and they lost their rights, we told the social worker we wanted him.

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We did notice that for the first few months, mainly when we were taking him to daycare or something he would at times zone out, as if he was somehow preparing himself for being moved again. But he slowly learned that he was home:

He loves dinosaurs, so I made sure one showed up for his birthday:

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He fell in love with his new “brother and sisters”:

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And we quickly learned that despite how he had been neglected in his past, he loved cuddles and being loving with people. Even now he hugs nearly everyone he meets.

We transferred him to a new daycare where he is thriving, though the pandemic has thrown a wrench in him attending much. But he starts back Monday and is excited to see his friends again.

Right when things began speeding up towards adoption, the flu hit and everything slowed down. Home visits and supervision has to be done via the phone. People out of the office. Paperwork getting misplaced. All a major hassle. But we still just loved him as one of our own.

He helped choose a new name, though we were careful not to appear to anyone that we were pressuring him or trying to “steal his identity away”.

We finally learned that the adoption went through, the details and steps being monotonous and trying. But we were finally given today, 7/31 as the signing day. So we all gathered together with family and friends via Zoom and the county held a virtual ceremony and he officially became my 4th child. Benjamin Acara Smith:

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What a great story! Congratulations on your new son.
 
Awesome. I'm glad he's home now. Love trumps DNA and I'm sure that he's getting more than he ever would have. Give he a hug for me. Thanks for sharing.

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Congratulations all around. What is your school year looking like in your county?
 
Congratulations all around. What is your school year looking like in your county?

Forsyth is all remote for the first 9 weeks, then they will re-evaluate sometime between now and then. His preschool is a private thing, we had to shut down a summer program due to some teachers catching it, but no students have.


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Congratulations to everyone in your family. There are so many positives in your story. Thank you for sharing it with us.
 
Alex, this is awesome. I've seen your edited photos on FB and have been hoping for you and your family that this would be coming together. You and your wife have my utmost respect.

As someone who works in behavioral health I see the need so often for good foster and adoptive families. Glad Ben got you guys.
 
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My niece and her husband have four of their own but have fostered dozens in dire circumstances over the years and adopted two of those. It takes an infinite capacity to love.

Not just preaching it, living it. Doing His work! Creds!
 
I’ve always had respect for you even if we disagreed. Now that respect is even greater. I’m at the point in my life when I want the kids out and you a great enough man to be adding others. I don’t really know what to say but I wish we had more people in the world like you. Your a mans man.
 
You and your family are special people. May you always find smooth pathways.
 
Congratulations to you and a big hug to Benjamin!
 
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Thank you all for the kind words! It’s truly appreciated.

Delving into the foster system is certainly a thing that will alter your perspective on things.

As a father, I cannot imagine not taking care of my children. Being in their lives is as vital to my existence as breathing. So I will admit I was somewhat surprised to see, face to face, a reality where children are looked upon as burdens at best. Perhaps “surprised” isn’t the proper term...but the difference between knowing something exists in the periphery of things is different than coming face to face with it.

And while I would encourage anyone who feels led to also pursue fostering or at least volunteering. It is, at times, emotional torture. But as bad as it ever got for us, my wife and I would remind ourselves that while it’s rough, it’s nothing compared to what the children involved are going through. Benben is young enough that his memories of life before us are spotty, but he does retain some.

On a walk recently he asked my wife and I about baby bottles (ok...it was about nipples, so we had to explain it’s how mommies feed babies which led to how some babies get bottles) and he told us he didn’t have a bottle. He was “lost and didn’t have a bottle”. So he, in his mind, factors his early life as being “lost” but now he is found.

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There are still a lot of kids “lost” out there. But this one ain’t anymore.


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What a beautiful child.
What a beautiful family.
And what a beautiful ending to a story that could have ended up badly.
Happy Happy Happy!
Enjoy life B00ger.
 
Showed this to my wife, her first comment (after wiping tears) was "makes me want to foster".

Thank you for walking your faith, you and your family are an inspiration.
 
Congratulations, to him, and to your family. Wonderful story!
 
Showed this to my wife, her first comment (after wiping tears) was "makes me want to foster".

Thank you for walking your faith, you and your family are an inspiration.

Brother, on the day we met with the county adoption agent to finalize our part of the paperwork before it was sent to the court she informed us that she had already done two relinquishments that morning. The need is, ridiculously great.


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My screen is all blurry now.
Much respect for you and your family for taking this young man in and giving him the kind of life every child deserves. Like someone said above, you are not only speaking God's love you are living it. May His blessings pour down on you and your family.
 
This thread is simply one more reason that I'm so humbled to be a tiny part of such a great forum community of people. All of us have opportunities in life to step up and make a difference in the lives of others and you sir are one that captured the moment.

Good on you sir.
 
Damn, good on ya man. That's what we are here for. Got something in my eye, a little dusty in here
 
You brought a tear to my eye and that is very hard to do! Bless you and the whole family!!!!
 
Where to start, I guess let me start by saying congratulations to all! It takes a strong family to enter into the world of foster care. I am glad we have families like your’s that are willing to step up and risk heart break and emotional trauma. Thank you and God bless!


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So, I’ve been a bit quiet the last little bit here. Lot going on in my personal life. But I wanted to share an exciting event with y’all.

As some of y’all know, we have been fostering a little boy for a little over a year. He is now three. Not to go into great detail (though I could), his mother effectively gave him up, father didn’t even know he existed for a while. He has been in the foster system since just a few months old.

He came to us a little over a year ago:

0406dcd33b06393a3089ea94b8c09fb6.jpg

This was his first time meeting us. Sitting on the couch with our foster supervisor and his social worker beside him.

It didn’t take long for him to warm up to us, despite his past of being in and out of temporary homes. Sometimes with family, sometimes with fosters.

We decided pretty early on that if God wanted him in our lives, then we would treat him as our own. So we attended all of the Termination or Parental Rights hearings as well as all of his other legal hearings. When his parents failed to even put up much of a fight for him and they lost their rights, we told the social worker we wanted him.

3135b6d64fda7eda70b5379eec7cf6d9.jpg


We did notice that for the first few months, mainly when we were taking him to daycare or something he would at times zone out, as if he was somehow preparing himself for being moved again. But he slowly learned that he was home:

He loves dinosaurs, so I made sure one showed up for his birthday:

edacae761fcd690c3cb0dcc900c35421.jpg


He fell in love with his new “brother and sisters”:

bf87ca156e0a106b90b90607c5211c96.jpg


And we quickly learned that despite how he had been neglected in his past, he loved cuddles and being loving with people. Even now he hugs nearly everyone he meets.

We transferred him to a new daycare where he is thriving, though the pandemic has thrown a wrench in him attending much. But he starts back Monday and is excited to see his friends again.

Right when things began speeding up towards adoption, the flu hit and everything slowed down. Home visits and supervision has to be done via the phone. People out of the office. Paperwork getting misplaced. All a major hassle. But we still just loved him as one of our own.

He helped choose a new name, though we were careful not to appear to anyone that we were pressuring him or trying to “steal his identity away”.

We finally learned that the adoption went through, the details and steps being monotonous and trying. But we were finally given today, 7/31 as the signing day. So we all gathered together with family and friends via Zoom and the county held a virtual ceremony and he officially became my 4th child. Benjamin Acara Smith:

e080fc3aff65b8e1e6fbadeb5522c707.jpg

2933b63502c931455e1419eda86cce7b.jpg

118c2d8bb42a83c39ddfca178a885172.jpg



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Well played Sir. Congratulations to you all.
 
Did ya get his first 22lr crickett picked out yet? That’s when it’s officially official. Congrats on getting through all the legal hurdles. Just found out myself this morning that the wife has my next little one in the oven. Yeehaw for best dad moments
 
Congratulations! I am so happy for you all! My Daddy was adopted, without great folks like you and yours a lot of people would never know what love is. God bless!
 
Such wonderful news. Congratulations to all of you, he is blessed to have you all .
We are blessed to have to have You, and your moral compass to show us a finer path in life.
THANK YOU for being a prime example of a GOOD MAN.
ps. my grand daughter is adopted too..
 
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