Porch Pirates

9outof10mms

Enginerding, good coffee, and factual opinions.
2A Bourbon Hound 2024
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Had my first encounter with a porch pirate thief stealing an Amazon box—lucky me. Like many here, I hate a damn thief. Not only did they steal from me, they had the gall to walk up into my property and behind my house (the package was delivered to the back porch), while cars were outside (no one home). Had a pic of the package on the porch from Amazon at 2:30...home by 3pm, no package.

Wouldn’t that have been fun to come home as some dip wad was carrying my package from around back of the house?!

Thankfully, Amazon dipped into some of Bezos’ billions and they’re sending a replacement package.

My gut tells me they either followed the Amazon van or it was possibly the Amazon driver...but I doubt the driver would risk their job over it.

Only difference is this time there will be a new camera system watching. That’s my Fourth of July weekend project.

After sending out a neighborhood text, I get word that someone’s bike went missing last week from their garage while they were home.

Might have to get the ghillie suit out of the attic and set up a pirate trap.
 
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Damn that sucks. And you only missed them by 30min too!

This is one of the big reasons I got a Ring doorbell and cameras around my house. I order almost everything online.
 
I put camera’s in after our home was broken in to. I can see them on my phone wherever I go, and put a monitor in the tv room so we could see them real time.
 
There's videos on YouTube where these thieves twist their ankles trying to get back to their cars quickly. I can't get enough of watching them drag themselves while they cling to a stolen box. I like to imagine them getting into the car and opening to box only to see a bag of dog treats or a pack of socks.
 
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Just got back from Best Buy with a camera setup.

Now I need a used transit van and a paint job to look like an Amazon delivery vehicle. Drive it around to attract the undesirables. Might even play ice cream truck music from it.

I’m taking sign ups for the CFF rapid response team to be on standby. No lethal weapons—at least not as primary. Non-lethal very painful items only.
 
One benefit of working from home is that my packages spend about 30 seconds on the porch, if thatil long. Sorry about your experience.
 
Just got back from Best Buy with a camera setup.

Now I need a used transit van and a paint job to look like an Amazon delivery vehicle. Drive it around to attract the undesirables. Might even play ice cream truck music from it.

I’m taking sign ups for the CFF rapid response team to be on standby. No lethal weapons—at least not as primary. Non-lethal very painful items only.
Paint ball gun, filled with that stinky sh1t.
 
I wonder if there is any way to send a box of angry hornets that would get there before they die. I would pay money to see porch pirates open that.
Many years ago "some one" put a 5 foot black snake in a pocket book and sat it in the middle of 501 at the traffic light in Aynor, S.C. In less than a minute a car with 4 passengers stopped grabbed the pocket book and made it about 200 yards when it Stopped and all 4 doors opened at the same time with the inhabitants running full tilt in all 4 directions. Much laughter ensued....................I am told....;):rolleyes::D:D
 
Many years ago "some one" put a 5 foot black snake in a pocket book and sat it in the middle of 501 at the traffic light in Aynor, S.C. In less than a minute a car with 4 passengers stopped grabbed the pocket book and made it about 200 yards when it Stopped and all 4 doors opened at the same time with the inhabitants running full tilt in all 4 directions. Much laughter ensued....................I am told....;):rolleyes::D:D
I know one little blonde headed mean ass back in the early 80’s that put a quart mason jar over a yellow jackets nest and stomped the ground around it. When it was about full I, um he, carefully slid a sealer top under the lid , carefully vacated the area, and placed (carefully) said jar into a leather fringed purse, zipping her up tightly (and quickly). It was placed in the road and was rewarded with a new owner within 5 minutes. The car was still rolling as they bailed from it. We called it a Montgomery County cocktail....
 
Just got back from Best Buy with a camera setup.

Now I need a used transit van and a paint job to look like an Amazon delivery vehicle. Drive it around to attract the undesirables. Might even play ice cream truck music from it.

I’m taking sign ups for the CFF rapid response team to be on standby. No lethal weapons—at least not as primary. Non-lethal very painful items only.

So no shooting them above the waist. Gotcha.
 
Rock salt in shot shells is a good deterrent or it was back in the day when common sense ruled.
 
I may have to eventually, but right now, there is not enough money to make me move into an area where that sort of stuff might even happen. I really feel for those of you who have to.
 
I may have to eventually, but right now, there is not enough money to make me move into an area where that sort of stuff might even happen. I really feel for those of you who have to.
If you knew where I lived/saw where I lived, you’d be shocked. Yeah, I’m in a Charlotte suburb, but this crap is (was) nonexistent around here.
 
One benefit of working from home is that my packages spend about 30 seconds on the porch, if thatil long. Sorry about your experience.
likewise
 
If you knew where I lived/saw where I lived, you’d be shocked. Yeah, I’m in a Charlotte suburb, but this crap is (was) nonexistent around here.

I"m not arguing your point, but if you saw where I live you would understand. You said it "is/was" which leads me to believe you are experiencing some of this now. That won't happen where I am for some time as I am 20 miles from any city, much less a metro area. Hopefully, by the time my health makes me move to a more urban setting, I won't have the mental capacity to care what's going on. That doesn't change my feelings for those who have to live there but those who choose to live there due to convenience are a different group. It's all about personal choices and priorities.
 
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Welp...false-ish alarm. Turns out my original hunch was right.

Got a text from the grandpa of a nearby friend of my boys. Said he and the boy needed to come see me this morning. Tuns out the boy come to see if my boys were able to play—he typically comes to the back door. He saw the package and thought it was a good idea to take it. After opening it on the way home back through the woods, he saw that it was “just” coffee and dumped it all in the stream.

The kid came clean and fessed up. I had to have the heart-to-heart talk with him as there is no father in the picture. Guess we’ll make some watery lemonade out of the lemons.

I went looking in the woods right after it happened thinking the exact thing happened. I just stopped 10 yards short of the stream where it was dumped.

Now I’ve got an upgraded fortress complete with cameras, laser shooters and a moat filled with hammerhead sharks.

My little slice of NC is back to being relatively secure.
 
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Welp...false-ish alarm. Turns out my original hunch was right.

Got a text from the grandpa of a nearby friend of my boys. Said he and the boy needed to come see me this morning. Tuns out the boy come to see if my boys were able to play—he typically comes to the back door. He saw the package and thought it was a good idea to take it. After opening it on the way home back through the woods, he saw that it was “just” coffee and dumped it all in the stream.

The kid came clean and fessed up. I had to have the heart-to-heart talk with him as there is no father in the picture. Guess we’ll make some watery lemonade out of the lemons.

I went looking in the woods right after it happened thinking the exact thing happened. I just stopped 10 yards short of the stream where it was dumped.

Now I’ve got an upgraded fortress complete with cameras, laser shooters and a moat filled with hammerhead sharks.

My little slice of NC is back to being relatively secure.
So, not really a false alarm but a porch-pirate-in-training...
Hopefully a restitution plan has been agreed to so there's incentive for him to learn from the experience.
Otherwise without consequences, he'll probably do it again.

Sent from my Pixel 2 using Tapatalk
 
Hopefully a restitution plan has been agreed to so there's incentive for him to learn from the experience.
Otherwise without consequences, he'll probably do it again.
Good idea, I hadn’t thought about that. Not sure how old the boy is but if he’s old enough to go over to the house by himself, he’s old enough to go to the nearby park and fill 2 trash bags full of litter. “You’re done when you fill both bags to the top. Can’t fill them? We’ll go to park B, C, and D until you do. Then clean up what you dumped in the stream”

@9outof10mms glad to hear you don’t have a legit porch pirate prowling the neighborhood. Amazon took care of you and now you’re better protected should this happen again. Pretty good ending all in all.
 
Good idea, I hadn’t thought about that. Not sure how old the boy is but if he’s old enough to go over to the house by himself, he’s old enough to go to the nearby park and fill 2 trash bags full of litter. “You’re done when you fill both bags to the top. Can’t fill them? We’ll go to park B, C, and D until you do. Then clean up what you dumped in the stream”

@9outof10mms glad to hear you don’t have a legit porch pirate prowling the neighborhood. Amazon took care of you and now you’re better protected should this happen again. Pretty good ending all in all.
If a mosquito farts wrong on my property, I’ll know about it now.

As for restitution, the grandpa made the boy pay me for the cost of the items plus some. From my end, that with the talking to makes us square—plus his understanding of what I define as honesty and those who aren’t, aren’t allowed on my property. Oftentimes the “disappointed father” routine (or even father figure) goes much further than breaking the kid down to raw pulp. Before this, the worst thing he’s done is act a little too hyper around the house. Not like he’s on a trajectory for career criminal.

Beyond that is not my business.
 
So, not really a false alarm but a porch-pirate-in-training...
Hopefully a restitution plan has been agreed to so there's incentive for him to learn from the experience.
Otherwise without consequences, he'll probably do it again.

Sent from my Pixel 2 using Tapatalk
Little schmuck should have to get up every morning at 4:30 am for the summer to make 9outof10’s coffee and bring it to him. Then wait around to fetch the second cup and clean up the coffee pot.

That should break him of new found bad habits
 
How old is this boy?
 
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