a prayer request for my dear old MIL, and a question

fieldgrade

fieldgrade

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For those here who pray, I'd appreciate if you put one up for my sweet mother-in-law, and one for her sweet daughter, my wife. My wife is also her caregiver.

My MIL has been suffering a declining state of dementia for three years, although she does still know who we all are. She was admitted yesterday to the hospital with a UTI, pneumonia, and sepsis. I thought she was dying until they said it was a UTI, and I have seen this before in other old folks.

They have her on three antibiotics and I expect we'll take her to rehab in a few days.

That said, the formerly sweet woman who was the guardian angel for her small family, including the grandkids for 86 years turned mean as a snake last night. I mean, just all at once according to my wife this morning. Belligerent, non-compliant with the nurses, didn't sleep a wink all night when she usually sleeps all the time, although she laid in bed quietly all night, like she usually does all day and night before yesterday.

The nurses said this is pretty common behavior. She had been on antibiotics for probably 12 hours when this all started. Not sure if the antibiotics cause it, or if it is a symptom of the dementia perhaps exacerbated by the infection (they say this is not unusual at all) that has just manifested itself. I guess we'll find out in a few days.

Thanks in advance.
 
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Prayers for all and especially Mrs. Fieldgrade.

I know there is little we can do but we're here if you need us.
 
It's part of the dementia. Unfortunately it changes the brain in bad ways. Prayers for y'all!


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You got'em, Ash...Mom, K, and you. PM me if we can help you guys in any way.
 
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Prayers up. My ex-fil is dealing with this now. He was told in the facility where he put his wife when dementia and alzheimers patients start to exhibit this behavior the very first thing they check is Uti. Told him it's not understood why it happens.
 
Prayers up ... especially for someone who in this day takes care of a parent in their senior years as they took care of them as a child!
 
fieldgrade said:
For those here who pray, I'd appreciate if you put one up for my sweet mother-in-law, and one for her sweet daughter, my wife. My wife is also her caregiver.

My MIL has been suffering a declining state of dementia for three years, although she does still know who we all are. She was admitted yesterday to the hospital with a UTI, pneumonia, and sepsis. I thought she was dying until they said it was a UTI, and I have seen this before in other old folks.

They have her on three antibiotics and I expect we'll take her to rehab in a few days.

That said, the formerly sweet woman who was the guardian angel for her small family, including the grandkids for 86 years turned mean as a snake last night. I mean, just all at once according to my wife this morning. Belligerent, non-compliant with the nurses, didn't sleep a wink all night when she usually sleeps all the time, although she laid in bed quietly all night, like she usually does all day and night before yesterday.

The nurses said this is pretty common behavior. She had been on antibiotics for probably 12 hours when this all started. Not sure if the antibiotics cause it, or if it is a symptom of the dementia perhaps exacerbated by the infection (they say this is not unusual at all) that has just manifested itself. I guess we'll find out in a few days.

Thanks in advance.
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Very much a symptom of dementia and it will just get worse from her first time. It's always worse in the hospital as well because it's not home. When papa broke his hip while he was in the hospital he was just dang crazy. They said he would raise his arms above his head swing them around and to then best of their ability to understand it sounded like he was speaking in tongues. A lot of people get something they call sun downers which basically is they really get confused after dark. Very sad stuff and prayer for you and your family man.
 
Prayers for your MIL and your family.
 
NCFubar said:
Prayers up ... especially for someone who in this day takes care of a parent in their senior years as they took care of them as a child!
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Ash is being very modest in his statements above. Many of us know that he spends a lot of time caring for his mother in law...taking her lunch most days, sitting with her while his wife is at work, etc. Doing what a good son-in-law should, and I imagine his MIL considers him a son.
 
I know it sounds weird but the hospice in huntersville hand end of life pamphlets. these pamphlets had the exact progression of papa's dementia almost like it's was about him. You might try to find one and look at it, very informative.
 
I've never experienced what you're going through (thank God) but I'll send prayers up for her, your wife AND you. Hang tough... And of course you know where we are should you need anything else.....
 
Cowboy said:
I know it sounds weird but the hospice in huntersville hand end of life pamphlets. these pamphlets had the exact progression of papa's dementia almost like it's was about him. You might try to find one and look at it, very informative.
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Thanks.

Some background here. My wife in high school shared her bed with her deaf little grandmother who had alzheimers. When she finally started wandering off at night they had to put her in Mayview in Raleigh (Jesse Helms last living address) and then my MIL took a job there to be close to her and help pay for it, so this is a road my wife has been down.

She's been telling me for 29 years how she was going to take care of her mom the same way they took care of her mom's mom. I was with the dads, hers and mine, when they passed, but this is my first rodeo with dementia.

I told my wife yesterday that her family has a guardian angel, and I know what it looks like.
She said, "What?".
I said , "Look in the mirror."
 
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fieldgrade said:
For those here who pray, I'd appreciate if you put one up for my sweet mother-in-law, and one for her sweet daughter, my wife. My wife is also her caregiver.

My MIL has been suffering a declining state of dementia for three years, although she does still know who we all are. She was admitted yesterday to the hospital with a UTI, pneumonia, and sepsis. I thought she was dying until they said it was a UTI, and I have seen this before in other old folks.

They have her on three antibiotics and I expect we'll take her to rehab in a few days.

That said, the formerly sweet woman who was the guardian angel for her small family, including the grandkids for 86 years turned mean as a snake last night. I mean, just all at once according to my wife this morning. Belligerent, non-compliant with the nurses, didn't sleep a wink all night when she usually sleeps all the time, although she laid in bed quietly all night, like she usually does all day and night before yesterday.

The nurses said this is pretty common behavior. She had been on antibiotics for probably 12 hours when this all started. Not sure if the antibiotics cause it, or if it is a symptom of the dementia perhaps exacerbated by the infection (they say this is not unusual at all) that has just manifested itself. I guess we'll find out in a few days.

Thanks in advance.
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We are facing a situation much like this. Carole has been in Alabama for a month. It has become obvious to us she cannot leave. It is a tough time for many of us.
 
tanstaafl72555 said:
We are facing a situation much like this. Carole has been in Alabama for a month. It has become obvious to us she cannot leave. It is a tough time for many of us.
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Those logistics seem awful. A prayer is up for you and your family, too.
 
Prayers for her and you and your wife. I'm a RN and can tell you that almost ever patient I have seen with dementia, the first sign of a UTI was the Jekyll to Hyde change. Normal people get just a little squirrelly but not as obvious to others
 
Prayers my friend. My wife and I have both our mothers living w us. They're not to the stage you described but can be a chore nonetheless.

God bless you and yours.


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Prayers brother.

It is very common with infection and when the kidneys are under duress the toxins build up and will seem to worsen the dementia. Hallucinations, unusual behavior and even visions are very common. Hopefully she will physically get better and with God's help gain a little clarity.

God's hand on you and your family.
 
Prayers for all of you going through this. Doing the same thing with my 91 yr old MIL. She's currently in a skilled care facility with hospice.
 
I will definitely say a prayer for all of those involved. I haven't had to deal with dementia first hand but some of my friends have and I know how taxing it can be on everyone.
 
fieldgrade said:
I told my wife yesterday that her family has a guardian angel, and I know what it looks like.
She said, "What?".
I said , "Look in the mirror."
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Good on you. She deserves the praise, I'm sure.

I've been spending a lot more time with my Dad since my Mom passed last Feb. I look on it as a labor of sheer love.

The last time I took him fishing, I had to do everything for him except cast and retrieve. Then it hit me he had done that for me when he first took me fishing, and hunting, over fifty years ago.
 
dmarbell said:
Good on you. She deserves the praise, I'm sure.

I've been spending a lot more time with my Dad since my Mom passed last Feb. I look on it as a labor of sheer love.

The last time I took him fishing, I had to do everything for him except cast and retrieve. Then it hit me he had done that for me when he first took me fishing, and hunting, over fifty years ago.
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It's a great big ole circle, isn't it.

Speaking of, I may see if I can escape to the range at H20 for a couple of hours in the morning. It's busy as all get out in Granny's horsepital room in the morning and no room for me in there with my wife and all those good looking nurses.
 
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fieldgrade said:
It's a great big ole circle, isn't it.

Speaking of, I may see if I can escape to the range at H20 for a couple of hours in the morning. It's busy as all get out in Granny's horsepital room in the morning and no room for me in there with my wife and all those good looking nurses.
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Call me if you go. I'll meet you there.
 
trcubed said:
Call me if you go. I'll meet you there.
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I'll know after dinner. Our favorite MD may go, too. We shot drills last time and had a blast.
 
H20 in the AM is a go.

Boy is the sweet MIL cranky once the sun starts to go down. Whew.
 
dementia, the first sign of a UTI was the Jekyll to Hyde change

This is exactly the way my mom was.

Prayers for you, and wife. Give her lots of hugs.
 
Thanks guys.
 
God's hand is at work. My wife was worried sick about having to choose where her mom goes next after the hospital.

Turns out my MIL is being discharged from the hospital today and being taken to an excellent facility that is the very nursing home where she worked when her own mother was there 30 years ago. Plus, we still have a friend there in management who my MIL worked with who adores her.
 
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Prayers sent.
I'm glad you MIL is with people she is familiar with and who know and care about her. That makes all the difference in the world.

My MIL suffered the long slow decline of dementia. She was also blind and an amputee due to T2 diabetes. She was 91 when her suffering finally ended.
When the nursing home had stabilized her, the family brought her home and cared for her. She survived another 2+years in family care. Though she lost the ability to form new memories, she never lost her long term memory. As a result, grand children she had not seen since they were small, but were now adults, she responded to them as if they were still small children. She found great comfort in the loud noise of her children and grand children loudly playing dominoes and playing Spanish music. That was the sound of every family gathering before she go ill.
 
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