Advice on arming an elderly friend

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The mother of an acquaintance has asked me to help her get a gun for protection. She has a semi auto given to her by her son but she has medical issues including arthritis, can't rack the slide, doesn't know how to operate it and really wants a revolver. I've been her and her son's "gun expert" for years.

She mainly wants it for home defense, she rarely goes out especially now. She lives in a very secluded area right by her son's house but he is gone a lot. I can't see her carrying (concealed or otherwise) but I guess it's possible.

She was wondering if she should take a CCP course and I'm not sure if it's necessary. It couldn't hurt but I think I could set her straight on most things, including the basic legalities of defending herself in her home. Obviously she will need to take the course if she intends to carry.

Speaking of legalities if her son happens to have an appropriate weapon can he just give it to her without a CCP or PP (seems he's already done this once)? Could I? I know buying one for her would be a straw purchase.

Now about the choice of weapons, personally I think a PCC is the best HD weapon for someone like that, but she wants something simple and would feel more comfortable with a revolver. I'm also going to recommend a 20ga pump. Assuming it winds up being a revolver I'm thinking a decent size in a respectable caliber like 38 but even that might be too much for her, also thinking about 22magnum. Thoughts?
 
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I think I read 2 or 3 times that she stated that she wanted/felt comfortable with a revolver.... There's your answer.
Her son can definitely give/loan her a weapon as long as there's no reason that she can't own/possess a weapon.
 
NONE OF THE ABOVE!!! Arm her with high dose pepper spray, almost anything from FOX Labs. Personally I recommend Mean Green.
5.3 MILLION Scovill units of heat in the face will take care of an attacker, plus Mean Green has a dye that marks the assailant.

Buy several and have them placed around the house and next to her keys if she ventures outside.. Safer and very effective....
 
I don't see a CCP class being bad. Even if she doesn't take the final step it will be education. Plus she will get out with others who are probably thinking the same and getting other's thoughts.

As for hardware... IMHO

Depends if this is a #1 "feel safe" vs. #2 "I have a real threat".

#1, Any small caliber revolver (22cal/mag) 2"-4" will do. Even a spray.

#2, Same size as #1 but more than 22lr/22mag. This might have a lot of recoil for one of her age and unfamiliarity.
 
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Rob said:
I think I read 2 or 3 times that she stated that she wanted/felt comfortable with a revolver.... There's your answer.
Her son can definitely give/loan her a weapon as long as there's no reason that she can't own/possess a weapon.
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The legality is she needs a ppp to receive . Yada yada. He ask for legality
 
I went through this with my parents. All they had at the time was a single shot 410.
First started with a 12 gauge pump off of this or the previous forum, and found that my dad (Who was having health issues) couldn’t rack it, and my mom barely could.
Got them a 1022 with a laser on it and a 25 round Ruger mag.
Then after my dad passed away found a good deal on a semi auto 12 gauge on this forum, and got that for my mom as well.
It is nice on the semi auto long guns that it is not hard to rack the bolt.
 
Bailey Boat said:
NONE OF THE ABOVE!!! Arm her with high dose pepper spray, almost anything from FOX Labs. Personally I recommend Mean Green.
5.3 MILLION Scovill units of heat in the face will take care of an attacker, plus Mean Green has a dye that marks the assailant.

Buy several and have them placed around the house and next to her keys if she ventures outside.. Safer and very effective....
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I am going to get this for my mom
 
LeeMajors said:
The legality is she needs a ppp to receive . Yada yada. He ask for legality
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Lee majors, are you saying that she needs a Pistol Purchase Permit to receive a pistol from her son???
That would 100% be a NO she doesn't.
 
Bailey’s point is likely the best for physical limitations as well as lack of training plus I personally think someone with average mindset will spray a chemical defense tool way before they’ll pull the trigger on a firearm.

I would suggest to make sure to get the stream version of FOX rather than the fog version ...
 
NCFubar said:
Bailey’s point is likely the best for physical limitations as well as lack of training plus I personally think someone with average mindset will spray a chemical defense tool way before they’ll pull the trigger on a firearm.

I would suggest to make sure to get the stream version of FOX rather than the fog version ...
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A pepper fog? What idiot came up with that idea?
 
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Best for most old women is a sharp knife, they’ve been using a dull one most their life and know how to handle one so using a keen edge puts the advantage on their table.
 
Bailey Boat said:
NONE OF THE ABOVE!!! Arm her with high dose pepper spray, almost anything from FOX Labs. Personally I recommend Mean Green.
5.3 MILLION Scovill units of heat in the face will take care of an attacker, plus Mean Green has a dye that marks the assailant.

Buy several and have them placed around the house and next to her keys if she ventures outside.. Safer and very effective....
Click to expand...

I agree x10. On top of all other issues, personally suffering from rheumatoid arthritis I think she would have trouble with the DA pull of a revolver and single action cocking it could even be beyond her depending on what stage she is in.
 
Might be worth having her try some revolvers out in person before getting one. A nice, heavy revolver (non airweight) in a useful caliber like 38 special would certainly help soak up recoil while still being effective but if she's got issues with weak grip/finger strength then a long and heavy DA pull might not work out well. That's been an issue for my grandmother before with her rheumatoid arthritis flare ups.

If you go 22 rimfire, 22 mag from a 3" barrel has ~100-300 fps more than 22lr but they're about the same from a 2". BBI for 22lr and BBI for 22 Mag. Definitely gotta make sure she buys quality ammo if she goes for a rimfire.

If you go semi auto, a Beretta Tomcat 3032 is a potential option. 7+1 rds of 32 ACP FMJ for some more oomph/penetration with the reliability of a rimless centerfire and without the recoil of bigger rounds. Barrel tips to load it so no slide to deal with and the trigger is DA/SA with an exposed hammer for that light (but still long in this gun) SA pull. Plus it was used in a James Bond film so you could say she'll be like Halle Berry!

A 20g break action might work also. Harder to short shuck with weak arms and easy to clear/reload compared to a pump. She'll need a bigger purse to bring it with her though.

Ruger Charger/other PCC might be doable if she's always at home. Throw on an extended charging handle, red dot (circle dot for old eyes), and an extended magazine release and you've got one arthritic friendly gun.
 
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I'd go with a double barrel or semi auto 20 gauge for home protection. Spray for out and about.
 
I'll throw my two cents behind a revolver. .38 Special is good, .357 Magnum is better in that it will hold up to .357 Mag or .38+P even if it never sees any. I would think you could get low recoil rounds even with a serious self defense projectile. I wouldn't even consider anything that starts with a 2. I know a guy that survived 9 shots to the face and neck from a .22lr. It is a false sense of security.

Another huge consideration is eyesight. Even if she has eagle eyesight now, that could change quickly. If it were my own mother, it would have tritium sights and a laser for certain. Grab a handful of speedloaders to go with it. Make sure you give her enough hands on instructions that she will become comfortable with it.

Then you can add several cans of a serious bear spray for good measure.
 
Bailey Boat said:
NONE OF THE ABOVE!!! Arm her with high dose pepper spray, almost anything from FOX Labs. Personally I recommend Mean Green.
5.3 MILLION Scovill units of heat in the face will take care of an attacker, plus Mean Green has a dye that marks the assailant.

Buy several and have them placed around the house and next to her keys if she ventures outside.. Safer and very effective....
Click to expand...

I must agree with @Bailey Boat on this one. I have had countless "mature" ladies in my pistol and CCH classes. Most could not handle the simplest semi's OR most revolvers (even .22's). That aside, most don't possess the mindset necessary to use a firearm in a defensive situation.
 
Miss Lily said:
I must agree with @Bailey Boat on this one. I have had countless "mature" ladies in my pistol and CCH classes. Most could not handle the simplest semi's OR most revolvers (even .22's). That aside, most don't possess the mindset necessary to use a firearm in a defensive situation.
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SPST said:
I'd go with a double barrel or semi auto 20 gauge for home protection. Spray for out and about.
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Some good points IMO. FWIW, I agree with spray for out and about. (Is Vexor any good?) The rest depends on hand strength and ability to understand and remember the controls. I always thought I'd loan my MIL my Camp 9 if the SHTF, but now, considering her age and she rarely leaves the house alone, I like the idea of a LCRx 3" .22mag or 20ga coach gun to keep at home if she really thinks she wanted one..
 
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Aardvark said:
Some good points IMO. FWIW, I agree with spray for out and about. (Is Vexor any good?) The rest depends on hand strength and ability to understand and remember the controls. I always thought I'd loan my MIL my Camp 9 if the SHTF, but now, considering her age and she rarely leaves the house alone, I like the idea of a LCRx 3" .22mag or 20ga coach gun to keep at home if she really thinks she wanted one..
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My mother had a “bring home” M1 Carbine she could hit a paper plate with at 25 yards all day long for years ... a PCC could be useful.

For a rimfire revolver that 3” barreled LCR, in .22 mag, is great especially with Hornady’s Critical Defense rounds, BUT try and find one now ... plus the DA trigger pull while actually very good feeling is 10 plus lbs. Thumb cocking it to SA gives a better weight but for follow up shoots she’d have to thumb cock each time. Unless you practice the DA fired rounds tend to hit low and wide because of the use of more muscle flexing to overcome the heavier weight pull.
 
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I'm going through a similar situation with my 92 year-old neighbor across the street. She wants me to help her find a gun for her since the neighbor up the block has schizophrenia and his outbursts are generally in her direction. I'm hesitant to put a gun in her hands...but she is a tough old bird, tougher than most 50 year old women I know, so I don't know.
 
Sarcastic me says a Sten Mk3, or a Mac 10 as I think an old lady blasting a 30 round mag into scum would be hilarious.

Serious me says if it's home defense and you're worried about her having the hand strength to rack a slide, or pull a double action trigger I'd look at a hammerless double or over under. All she would have to do is slide the safey off and pull a 3 lb trigger, plus the length of the barrel would make it harder for her to hurt herself fumbling with an action (not impossible, just harder). I know it's only 2 shots, but a shotgun booming is going to have people scrambling out the door not in it in most cases and you can go with something like 410 or 20g if recoil is a concern.

Mentality wise if you don't think she'd actually shoot someone if it came down to it then the chemical deterrents are a decent option, but I'd train her on it that she needs to hose em down again about once a minute just to be sure and make sure she gets some in their mouths while they're screaming, and up their noses if she can, they deserve to roast a bit since they're skipping hell that day since she didn't kill them.
 
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bigfelipe said:
M&P EZ Shield in 380 or 9mm if you can find one. Simple manual of arms and designed for weak/small hands.
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I have had ladies that could not use those either.

Perhaps aversion to semi's but, more likely extremely weak hand/arm strength or aversion to understanding the mechanism.

Real conversation:
"Daddy used a revolver!" "I want a revolver." "I can't pull the trigger!"
"Pull the hammer back and try single action."
"I can't pull the hammer back."
"That guy in your living room has a gun. What will you do?"
"I don't know!"
"Perhaps a gun is not your best option. Get some pepper spray."
 
Miss Lily said:
I have had ladies that could not use those either.

Perhaps aversion to semi's but, more likely extremely weak hand/arm strength or aversion to understanding the mechanism.

Real conversation:
"Daddy used a revolver!" "I want a revolver." "I can't pull the trigger!"
"Pull the hammer back and try single action."
"I can't pull the hammer back."
"That guy in your living room has a gun. What will you do?"
"I don't know!"
"Perhaps a gun is not your best option. Get some pepper spray."
Click to expand...

My old lady's mom couldn't work the slide on her LCP. So, her dad bought a S&W 442(?) with a concealed hammer for her. She could barely pull the trigger. Then I found a 380 EZ for her. She can easily grip and work the slide with all the texture and soft springs, and the trigger is very manageable as well.

Of course, all situations vary. I don't know this woman. Just throwing out an option that hadn't been mentioned, and one made specifically for this type of situation.
 
bigfelipe said:
My old lady's mom couldn't work the slide on her LCP. So, her dad bought a S&W 442(?) with a concealed hammer for her. She could barely pull the trigger. Then I found a 380 EZ for her. She can easily grip and work the slide with all the texture and soft springs, and the trigger is very manageable as well.

Of course, all situations vary. I don't know this woman. Just throwing out an option that hadn't been mentioned, and one made specifically for this type of situation.
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Yes, the EZ is an option and have sold many (S&W owes me commission, BTW). But, I have had some of the more mature ladies that had issues with these as well.
 
myst173 said:
Serious me says if it's home defense and you're worried about her having the hand strength to rack a slide, or pull a double action trigger I'd look at a hammerless double or over under. All she would have to do is slide the safey off and pull a 3 lb trigger, plus the length of the barrel would make it harder for her to hurt herself fumbling with an action (not impossible, just harder). I know it's only 2 shots, but
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This is why I got a semi auto shotgun for my mom (and the 10/22). Same procedure to shoot as what you described, but more rounds loaded
 
Reminder that the safety on most shotguns does not block the firing pin, shotguns can fire if they are dropped or fall over when disturbed.
Cruiser Ready is prefered.
 
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Recommend a security review of the perimeter of her home, motion lights or dusk to dawn (my preference) to keep things bright in the night.
If a home alarm is in her budget, SimpliSafe is worth looking into or a Ring or NEST door camera at the minimum. Perhaps reinforcing a room or closet area to be a safe room where she can call 911 and use the firearm as a last resort? Electronic hearing protection good thing to have, even if she never uses any firearm, she can hear better and protect her ears.
 
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Button Pusher said:
Recommend a security review of the perimeter of her home, motion lights or dusk to dawn (my preference) to keep things bright in the night.
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Home Depot carries a light, Defiant 180, that has a DualBrite function that basically turns on the light at a dimmer lumen at dusk but if motion is sensed will turn the light to full brightness. They work very nicely giving warm lighting in the evening but if needed will light up fully for the set time whoever or whatever is out there. If there are existing fixtures it a simple 5 minute switch ...

https://www.homedepot.com/p/Defiant...Outdoor-Security-Light-DF-5416-BK-A/203716689
 
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Miss Lily said:
That aside, most don't possess the mindset necessary to use a firearm in a defensive situation.
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Serious question: (you know me, I always have questions.)

How can you tell if someone has the proper mindset to use a gun in self-defense?

All you instructors have seen many, many people pass thru your classes....so how do you tell?

It's a difficult concept for an old lady-new shooter to wrap her head around, but I'm trying.
 
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