Advice on arming an elderly friend

Millie said:
Serious question: (you know me, I always have questions.)

How can you tell if someone has the proper mindset to use a gun in self-defense?

All you instructors have seen many, many people pass thru your classes....so how do you tell?

It's a difficult concept for an old lady-new shooter to wrap her head around, but I'm trying.
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As @OldNascar said, you hear the questions. Millie, your questions are legitimate and thought out. The what if's where the sutdent's response is "oh no, I can't do that" tells instructors that students are in over their heads. You see hesitation or facial expressions (fear) when discussing defensive tactics.
 
My 99.5 year old aunt lived on the farm by herself. She had a Charter Arms 38 Special in the drawer by her kitchen chair and an S&W Highway Patrolman 357 Magnum in her bedside table. I would not want to see what would have happened if someone tried to mess with her. I would not have bet against her. That is a classic case of the locks on the doors being for the protection of someone who might want to break into her home.
 
OldNascar said:
Most with the proper mindset ask questions like ‘if my husband is caught with another woman is it OK to shoot them if together or do I have to catch then in the act?’.
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Always wait for them to finish and then shoot her and put a ski mask on her.;)
 
Button Pusher said:
Reminder that the safety on most shotguns does not block the firing pin, shotguns can fire if they are dropped or fall over when disturbed.
Cruiser Ready is prefered.
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We are talking about Grandma, not Rambo.

Here is my take. And I taught this for years.

I taught this to Military Spouses who were alone a lot when the service members were deployed overseas.

Think about this:
For older folks the idea of confronting an intruder is a very bad idea!
Pistols and Rifles take skill and knowledge to employ, and more so in the dark, Bad Idea!
Pepper spray or the like can be pulled by air conditioning or heating back into the face of the person using it indoors, Bad Idea!

Recommendation:
Pump shot gun or semi with 00B in ready rack condition in the bedroom with a phone.
Intruder in home, you retreat to the bedroom shutting the door as you go in.
In your bed room you position the phone and the weapon on the side of the bed farthest from the bedroom door.
You go in you go to your weapon, retrieve it and the phone then take a position behind the bed for cover, aiming at the closed door.
Do NOT turn on a light of any kind, it gives away your position.
Announce in a loud voice, I have a shotgun, and I am calling the police. Rack the shotgun if its a pump.
Dial 911, and tell the Police whats going on and stay in contact with them till the situation is all over.
If someone comes through the door, FIRE! If they flee that's fine too. Don't pursue.
Make sure the police know your armed and which room your in and keep talking to them over the phone and to the officers when they arrive.
Follow the instructions the Police give when they get there, to preserve your own life, they don't know who the intruder is either.

Question:
What if the intruder is a husband, adult son, adult daughter?
Answer:
When you announce you have a shotgun and your calling the police they will either leave or start yelling announcing who they are, that should end the situation.
Question: What if its a pet?
Answer: The door was shut, the pet won't come in and intruders won't generally scratch at the door to get in.
Question: What if I have children.
Answer: That is an entirely different situation than the one we are discussing here. We are discussing elderly, or someone home alone with an intruder.

Bottom Line: Unless your are highly trained in clearing building and combat tactics, And you are highly trained with your firearm you can do more harm than good in a dark home or building.
The possessions in your home are not worth your life, Let them have them and get out.

You may disagree with this and this is your right as a free American, Just give some thought to a situation like this before it happens, think it through, and think about your own abilities.
 
Bailey Boat said:
NONE OF THE ABOVE!!! Arm her with high dose pepper spray, almost anything from FOX Labs. Personally I recommend Mean Green.
5.3 MILLION Scovill units of heat in the face will take care of an attacker, plus Mean Green has a dye that marks the assailant.

Buy several and have them placed around the house and next to her keys if she ventures outside.. Safer and very effective....
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Do what BB suggested NOW and she will be protected as you go through a slow and thoughtful process of determining if she wants more and, if so, exactly what.
 
REALLY Not trying to be argumentative...I know lotsa 70+ year olds. I don't know a single 70+ year old lady with hands, wrists and arms that could Stand the recoil from a defensively loaded shotgun. Hell, they hurt My hands.
The ladies in our 2 mile proximity Might get off One shot and I'm not sure they would even Try if they had previously shot the shotgun. Tiny hands and frail arthritic wrists do not make any shotgun a good prospect. I vote with @Bailey Boat.
 
If it hasta be a firearm, what about the Shield 380 EZ?
 
I bought my elderly in-laws a Shockwave .410. With a little training, both have become competent and comfortable with it. The small shockwave is easy to load and the pump action doesn’t take much hand strength. At across-the-room distances, .410 buckshot is a very capable defensive round.

My Grandmother, who is 90, has pepper spray. She lacks the hand strength to work any slide and the hand/eye coordination to actually aim. We removed the firearms from her house because of this and replaced it with the pepper spray.

I agree with those above that pepper spray may be the best option for the very elderly. Many of those folks lack the physical strength to operate a firearm and also are either reluctant to or unable to train enough with a firearm to become comfortable and competent with it. Just my .02 worth based on my experiences, your mileage may vary.
 
Flashpoint said:
...but she has medical issues including arthritis, can't rack the slide, doesn't know how to operate it and really wants a revolver.
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Chances are good that she won't be able to pull the trigger on a DA .32 or .38 revolver. Chances are also good that she may not even be able to manually pull the hammer back to shoot it SA. A rimfire revolver will have an even heavier action to overcome. Let her dry fire a revolver to see if she can operate it. She will know if it's something that she can use.

A 12 Ga or 20 Ga shotgun will most likely have too much recoil for an older lady with medical conditions. And, she said she wants a revolver.

A PCC will most likely be too complicated for her. Too many controls for her to safely use and remember. And, she said she wants a revolver.

Most of us here are very familiar with many different types of firearms. This lady is not. In my opinion, @Bailey Boat gave the best answer. Get her multiple containers of Mean Green and keep your fingers crossed that she will never need to use one.
 
Miss Lily said:
Yes, the EZ is an option and have sold many (S&W owes me commission, BTW). But, I have had some of the more mature ladies that had issues with these as well.
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What about the Walther CCP M2? I think the Walther's were designed to be easy to rack.
 
Jeppo said:
A&E lost 50% of their viewership when they cancelled Live PD. ;)
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Lots more youtube video from folks that have car cams with gps and Google speed tracking to catch the dishonest LEO's lying to drivers and pressuring them to consent to car searches.
 
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My vote is for a 410 or 20 gauge pump.

If absolutely needs a handgun, best money is to take her to a range and actually see what she can safely handle and fire. That way she gets more comfortable with a wide variety of firearms, sees what works best for her, instead of just getting her something and hoping it works

plus it will narrow down what to actually be looking to get her since everything seems to be in low stock now
 
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If she wants a revolver, just give her a high quality full size revolver. Smith and Wesson K-Frames can be very easily tuned for a 7lb double action trigger pull that almost anyone can pull when the adrenaline is pumping. Fill it with 38 Special hollowpoints and let her be.
 
I think that if the elderly person does not have any prior experience with firearms, unless they have been a very independent type of person that has a history of doing things for themselves, a firearm might not be the best solution.

A good guard dog would be my first recommendation, if that was something that they would consider. Not an ankle biter, but a dog that could actually do some serious harm to an intruder.

First off, the dogs hearing and situational awareness is probably a lot better than an elderly person's.

Second, the deterrent factor is significant. If Joe Dirtbag is trying to break in to the home and is met by a large, aggressive dog on the other side, he may beat feet before entering the house. That's a big win.

Third, if Joe Dirtbag enters the home the elderly homeowner doesn't have to do anything; a good defensive dog is on autopilot. You don't have to aim them, they can take care of business on their own.

A firearm / pepper spray could be obtained as a secondary line of defense, but to me the mean dog is a much better primary option.

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A Maligator needs lots of attention and exercise. Probably not the best choice for an elderly woman. I would consider them "high maintenance" dogs. But they are great dogs.
 
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SPST said:
A Maligator needs lots of attention and exercise. Probably not the best choice for an elderly woman. I would consider them "high maintenance" dogs. But they are great dogs.
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agreed. A mal is not the best choice (I just thought that the pic was funny)
 
Caucs eat Belgians for a snack.........
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My mom is 81 and she has a .38 with 3inch barrel. She has bad arthritis and has to use he middle finger to pull trigger. She does minute of paper plate at 15 yards. I loads some soft wadcutters for her to practices with and she carries +P in it. She is not a gun person, just rasised on farm and around them her whole life, so not nervous about them.

Her brother is 78 and I just set him up the same way. He old fudd so knows hunting arms pretty good. He thought he wanted a glock for protection till he tried racking the slide.
 
elderly:

1. SS says 65.
2. AARP says 50.
3. most stores: 60.

personally, i vote for multiple pepper sprays placed throughout the house and/or outside,
UNLESS there are children around. instead of her looking for The Gun, spray is right there.
 
Took m-in-l to the range and let her shoot a .380 bodyguard. She spent more time waving the pistol around looking for the lazer dot than using the sights.

If you go with a lazer spend a lot of time on sight alignment...
 
Age has nothing to do with what she might be able to handle. What is her physical and mental condition. Is she a little frail lady with serious arthritis or has she stayed in shape.I know several ladies in my neighborhood that maintain great physical condition and are very capable of handling a firearm .Some ladies not so much.What do you consider elderly?
 
20200903_111808.jpg I'll vote for arming an elderly person with M1 carbine. Smallish, Light, Simple to use, low recoil, not intimidating to look at because it's from their era. Some softpoint ammo wouldn't do a bad guy any favors either.
 
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