Disarmed in your own home?

Alabamacoastie

Adiutor vicinorum
Puddle Pirate
2A Bourbon Hound 2024
2A Bourbon Hound OG
Life Member
Multi-Factor Enabled
Joined
Feb 22, 2018
Messages
6,513
Location
Pittsboro, NC
Rating - 100%
74   0   0
I honestly hesitate to write this. I think I already know where you all are going to stand...

But, have you ever disarmed, in your own home, to keep the peace?

My wife and I have have two young girls. They know about gun safety, and at this point, know not to touch any guns. They are 8 and 6. I haven't taught them to shoot yet, but they have held lots of my unloaded guns and I keep reminding them about the gun safety rules.

We also have a swimming pool...

There is a married couple, down the road, that my wife and I have been friends with for 3 years... They have two daughters the same age as mine, and the 4 girls are best friends.

We have the other family over almost every weekend, and we all get along very well. BUT, USUALLY, THE HUSBAND DOESN'T COME OVER.

Usually, it's just me, my wife, the other wife, and 4 little girls...

On Friday ( 2 days ago), the wife came over with her two daughters and we all had fun watching the 4 girls swim... A couple hours later, the dad came over. I offered him a beer, but he said that he doesn't drink.

I sat near him (by the pool) and started a conversation while our 4 kids swam in the pool. He cut me off, in mid sentence, and said, "IS THAT A WEAPON? "

I said, "Huh?"

He pointed at the Sig P365xl printing in my cargo pocket and yelled, "IS THAT A WEAPON? I DON'T WANT THAT AROUND MY CHILDREN! PUT IT AWAY OR WE ARE LEAVING! "

There is a part of me that thinks I should have stood my ground and told him to gtfo... But, I walked into my house and disarmed...

I came back outside and everything went back to normal. We continued talking. He said, "Thank You. "

I just can't stop thinking that I should have stood my ground.

Later, I told my wife what happened... She knows I carry 24/7 365... She thanked me for not being an ass and ruining our kids freindship...

I'd like to hear what yall think...

I feel like a sissy for disarming, but I also feel glad that the kids can still be friends...
 
Lot going on there. 1) probably gotta keep momma happy. 2) My GF said "bye, have a nice night". But. Thats my house not yours. So this is probably a moot point.

I also don't go to a freinds house, who let's me use their pool, and start making the rules. That's the rub I have with it. I'd tell him he can make the rules at his house. And if we wanted to get in the debate, my holstered pistol is not doing anything, whereas his apparent fright of an inanimate object is. He's the one with the issue, not you.

Pretty bold saying that to you. If you ask me. Which you did.
 
Hope you Lysol’d the seat he was occupying. I wouldn’t have disarmed but I’m just that kind of guy...my house, my rules. Now you’re gonna wonder what kind of rhetoric your kids hear when at his house.
 
Should have told him you were just glad to see him.

On a serious note I don't disarm in my on home but I don't have kids either which adds a lot of factors to the equation.
 
For me it's not so much about the weapon as the ultimatum. Im not carrying right now, other than a blade. Ok two blades, but I could lay my hands on an AR in about three good steps from where I'm sitting.

That being said, my house, my way of doing things. Don't come here as a guest and make ultimatums. You'll be asked to leave.
 
I feel you did the right thing for the moment. You were home and a gun was still accessible. And it wasn't like he was being so much of an ass that they left anyway. Time to have a talk with the guy and over time he may see things a little more clearly. Take him to the range. Tell him you were waiting for a FedEx delivery. But, if the issue gets pushed, your house, your rules.
 
Last edited:
"IS THAT A WEAPON? I DON'T WANT THAT AROUND MY CHILDREN! PUT IT AWAY OR WE ARE LEAVING! "

I commend you for taking the high road.
I would’ve let him pack up the family and leave. He would’ve been the jerk to his kids and wife.
 
I read the story to Mrs. Jeppo and asked her opinion. She’s not a gun person AT ALL but lovingly tolerates my sickness.

She said, “Tell him he did the noble thing”. :)
 
Pick your battles. That is not one that you can win without significant casualties. I know it is your home, and you want to be able to do what you want to do in your own home, but one important job of a host is to make the visitors feel comfortable. If that involves not smoking cigars inside the house, wait until they leave to light the stogie. If it means putting a dog or cat in another room because of allergies, get Fido and Felix into lockup. If it means putting your carry firearm inside away from the guests, put it away.

edit: He was a bad guest, but you should not risk having your girls lose some friends because you were not a good host.
 
Last edited:
If someone made a scene, they'd leave, weapon, gluten, kid's peanut allergy, music they don't like... IDGAF Bye.

I make a pretty good point of not printing even around the house usually. I don't have any interest in folks knowing. It's hell rounding up stray rounds, mags, and paraphernalia when the wife invites company over.

ETA: wife says bye too, but admits it'd suck to explain to the kid. Not on our property, nope.
 
Last edited:
1 of 2 things here. 1, I'm guessing he will not let his girls around anymore right, because now he knows there are weapons in your house, and chances are, if you were carrying that day, then others will follow yeah?
2, if not, wtf was that about. I myself would have told him to pound sand, and told him why, that I wouldn't come in his house and DEMAND him do something, and he sure as hell won't do it in mine. And I'm not the kind to fall in that "happy wife, happy life crap either". Kelly knows how I feel about being armed, and if someone has a problem with it, that's their problem. She knows not to bring that crap in the house to argue over, especially if it's in/at our house.
 
I might have concurred whilst the kids were still there to avoid a scene ... but that fellow isn't coming over again. Just that simple. Guests have responsibilities too. And "friendship" is a word, in my opinion, too often misconstrued for acquaintance (especially in a social media age).

And, this might be a good (albeit difficult) teaching moment to one's children that simply having "people to hang with" is not synonymous with having friends.
 
Last edited:
You simply made an error. You were caught off guard and made a bad decision. People do it all the time. However, unlike alot of errors, this one is fixable
The next time you see this gentleman at your house, just sidle up to him and say in a low voice while smiling like you just won the lottery.. Hey man, the very Next time you take that Tone with me In My Home, Ima slap the taste outta your stupid mouth. Then slap him on the back and laugh like a crazy man.
 
Here’s my thinking, aside from being pissed because the guy was a jackass about it.

A) Your top priority in life right now is probably those kids of yours.
B) His top priority in life right now is probably those kids of his.

That said, who knows, but they could be life long friends. I worked with a guy for 13 years who I grew up with, which plotted the course for the balance of my career, so I don’t take those kid’s relationships lightly.

C) If the reason he hasn’t been over to your house till today was because of "the weapon", then he probably thought long and hard about saying what he decided to say. In his own way, that took courage on his part. Again, I’m thinking about the kids. And the spouses. Unless of course I am misreading the whole thing and he’s just a dick.

Beyond that, I got nuthin. My kids are grown, and their girlfriend's parents know I’m a "gun guy”. We don’t spend time together otherwise, and it’s probably likely that you and this guy will never be chums anyway, so find some peaceful way to let the spouses and kids maintain their friendships.
 
Last edited:
I might be channeling another member here, but this sort of scenario reminds me very much of a scene from Robert Hugh Benson's Lord of the World. The book is public domain. I've bolded the exchanges regarding friendship.

  • "Father Francis" a priest who has apostatized to the 'new World Religion.'
  • "Father Percy" a priest remaining loyal to the Church.

Father Francis, who had been sitting in a lax kind of huddle, seemed to know his thoughts, and sat up suddenly.

"You are tired of me," he said. "I will go."

"I am not tired of you, my dear father," said Percy simply. "I am only terribly sorry. You see I know that it is all true."

The other looked at him heavily.

"And I know that it is not," he said. "It is very beautiful; I wish I could believe it. I don't think I shall be ever happy again--but--but there it is."

Percy sighed. He had told him so often that the heart is as divine a gift as the mind, and that to neglect it in the search for God is to seek ruin, but this priest had scarcely seen the application to himself. He had answered with the old psychological arguments that the suggestions of education accounted for everything.

"I suppose you will cast me off," said the other.

"It is you who are leaving me," said Percy. "I cannot follow, if you mean that."

"But--but cannot we be friends?"


A sudden heat touched the elder priest's heart.

"Friends?" he said. "Is sentimentality all you mean by friendship? What kind of friends can we be?"

The other's face became suddenly heavy.

"I thought so."

"John!" cried Percy. "You see that, do you not? How can we pretend anything when you do not believe in God? For I do you the honour of thinking that you do not."

Francis sprang up.

"Well---" he snapped. "I could not have believed--I am going."

He wheeled towards the door.

"John!" said Percy again. "Are you going like this? Can you not shake hands?"

The other wheeled again, with heavy anger in his face.

"Why, you said you could not be friends with me!"

Percy's mouth opened. Then he understood, and smiled. "Oh! that is all you mean by friendship, is it?--I beg your pardon. Oh! we can be polite to one another, if you like."

He still stood holding out his hand. Father Francis looked at it a moment, his lips shook: then once more he turned, and went out without a word.
 
I would have told him that firearm is how I have the ability to assure that my family and guests are safe in my house and that relying on hope is neither effective nor wise.

Not allowing a guest that is barely more than a stranger set the rules in your own house does not make you an ingracious host.

This guy is an absolute moron.
 
You did the right thing in the moment to save your kids the “scene” that would have followed. That said, they’d not be invited back to my place before a direct, calm, and unambiguous meeting of the minds occurred. Something along the
Lines of , “hey, I respect your position and didn’t want you to cause a scene. That said, this is my house with my rules. I sure hope our kids can continue to be together.”
 
Last edited:
My sister did something similar, but made the conditions before her visit. I refused, and she has never visited. My house, my rules. Don't like 'em, then stay away.

I think it is Extremely Rude to do what that guy did. He could have been discrete and polite. I like Billy's way of fixing it.

I suppose he is not aware that when he is in public and there are 100 or more people in sight, then it is a statistical certainty that he is near a gun.
 
Did the right thing and took the high road keeping the peace between neighbors and making wife and kids happy. I would see what happens going forward. If he yells at you again for any reason in your own home I would have a serious conversation with him. Maybe the first time was an accident and he wasn’t thinking clearly.
 
You did the right thing for the moment. I wouldn't worry about too much, I bet the wives will get this sorted out.

I could just imagine the butt chewing the other dude got from his wife fro making a scene at your house, in front of the kids. He might even offer you an apology. ;)
 
He pointed at the Sig P365xl printing in my cargo pocket and yelled...
It should not be in your cargo pocket. It should be in the pocket above that.

Anyway, in order to make it none of anyone's business what's in yer own pocket, you can't be printin' like that.

Jus' sayin'...

That neighbor of your'n has me riled up! :mad:
 
Last edited by a moderator:
You shudda gone in the house and switched it to the pocket that he couldn’t see. ;)
Holy crap, this was my first thought! I took the p365 out of my cargo pocket and almost put the NAA 22 magnum in my watch pocket... But, I didn't...
 
It should not be in your cargo pocket. It should be in the pocket above that.

Anyway, in order to make it none of anyone's F*ing business what's in yer own pocket, you can't be printin' like that.

Jus' sayin'...

That neighbor of your'n has me riled up! :mad:
Calm down old man. You don’t want to end up bursting one of those vessels of yours, do ya?
 
It should not be in your cargo pocket. It should be in the pocket above that.

Anyway, in order to make it none of anyone's F*ing business what's in yer own pocket, you can't be printin' like that.

Jus' sayin'...

That neighbor of your'n has me riled up! :mad:
I hear you... It was a good life lesson for printing in front of goobers...
 
I feel you did the right thing for the moment. You were home and a gun was still accessible. And it wasn't like he was being so much of an ass that they left anyway. Time to have a talk with the guy and over time he may see things a little more clearly. Take him to the range. Tell him you were waiting for a FedEx delivery. But, if the issue gets pushed, your house, your rules.

^^^ my thoughts as well. You made the right call regarding your kids relationship. Personally I would have switched pockets and come back out. I would have a private conversation with him.
 
Hold up, you had an unholstered (loaded?) Sig 365 in your cargo pocket? Not trying to be a dick, but that's a ND waiting to happen. Id have told you to go put it in a proper holster. I can almost see where this guy was coming from.
Was it in a pocket holster? Did he have it chambered? We don't know.
 
Hold up, you had an unholstered (loaded?) Sig 365 in your cargo pocket? Not trying to be a dick, but that's a ND waiting to happen. Id have told you to go put it in a proper holster. I can almost see where this guy was coming from.
Haha... No, it was in a Desantis Sticky Pocket Holster... I'm not an idiot...
 
Back
Top Bottom