Men With Beards

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Geezer, Apr 14, 2019.

  1. premise

    premise Member Life Member

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    I believe the preferred term is "douche flute"
     
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  2. premise

    premise Member Life Member

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    I heard if you apply something called "beaver sap" to your beard, it will keep the germs off.
     
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  3. HMP

    HMP Well-Known Member Supporting Member

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    Jesus had a beard.
     
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  4. HMP

    HMP Well-Known Member Supporting Member

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    Nailed it.
     
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  5. Chuckman

    Chuckman Senior Member Sponsor

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    Did he? Did he really? Or is that just your Eurocentric white-man projection and racial appropriation?

    JK......
     
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  6. Alfred

    Alfred E. Deplorabus Unum Supporting Member

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    Full beard here for over 40 years and I don't give a rats rectum whether its in style or annoys anyone cause the wife likes it. The beard's gotten awful grey nowadays, but I can still rock an itchy wool plaid shirt on bare skin that'll blow the ear gages right off of the fey poofs of the current generation.
     
  7. backwoodsshooter

    backwoodsshooter There’s no such things as ghost guns or ghost Charter Member

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    If I want to look 12 I’ll shave. Besides that I have shaving. But I do keep my beard trimmed to look decent
     
  8. spittinfire

    spittinfire Well-Known Member Charter Member

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    At some point my wife took ownership of my facial hair. If I even mention shaving it she stares me down.
     
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  9. Climberman

    Climberman Unstealthiest Ninja

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    Lions have manes. Men have beards. And my wife threatens me every time I talk about shaving it.:D
     
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  10. Surveyor

    Surveyor New Member

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    I went straight from the Army to Police/Fire/Rescue - decades ago.

    When I left PS to become a surveyor, I acquired a goat and it has remained ever since.

    I have 5 grandchildren and one daughter that have never seen my chin or upper lip.
     
  11. Pack72

    Pack72 Member

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    I grew a beard once, when I was in my twenties. It itched and irritated my skin. But when my three-year-old daughter refused to let me kiss her good night because it was "scratchy" I shaved it off, once and for all.
     
  12. Chuckman

    Chuckman Senior Member Sponsor

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    I tried growing a beard on deployment. The Marines hated it because they couldn't. Me, I flaunted regs.

    [​IMG]
     
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  13. B00ger

    B00ger Das B00G Charter Member

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    I had the opposite experience. Grew mine right before my middle daughter was born, and now she doesn't want me to ever shave. I plan on shaving after Easter, just because its been almost 10 years, but I do plan on growing it back.
     
  14. JustKeepSwimming

    JustKeepSwimming Are we there yet? Benefactor Charter Life Member

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    I normally look like I just wandered down from the hills after being lost for 20 years. My wife loves it (read: doesn't mind it) and my son loves it. However, as I am getting a little older I did have more than a few little kids walk up to me this winter and ask if I was Santa. Guess the beard has gone completely white/gray.

    Plus I'm lazy. Shaving sucks. And as a bonus I have the whole "be the gray man" gig nailed :cool:
     
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2019
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  15. NKD

    NKD Senior Member Charter Member Benefactor Kimberless

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    Subaru? You sure it's a dude?
     
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  16. Surveyor

    Surveyor New Member

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    If I shaved it now, my dogs wouldn't recognize me and its a toss up which of my kin would shoot me at the threshhold.
     
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  17. GoWolfpack

    GoWolfpack Member Benefactor Charter Life Member

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    I love having a beard, but my wife doesn't like it. So we compromise and I have one in the winter. I have a goatee year round, I haven't shaved that since college.

    There is a big difference between looking like you quit shaving and grooming a beard. I like mine groomed because I think it looks better.
     
  18. Crazy Carl

    Crazy Carl seriously?

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    The first time this beard/bacteria thing popped up, it was the 'ooh gross, fecal bacteria in beards'/the sky is falling. Bullshit. The 'fecal' bacteria mentioned are ubiquitous, ie. every damned where, all the damned time & are typically only an issue for immunocompromised persons. Hell, swab somebody's scalp or nasal passages sometime or scrape under their nails, plate that mess & see what grows. ~10% of the population carry Staphylococcus aureus in (of all places) their nose.

    Cracks me up theses days. 'Oohh! Unsanitary!' Hand sanitizer! Eww, eek, a germ! 'N look at the all allergies & illnesses kids get today. No exposure to typically ubiquitous microorganisms to inform their immune system & build up a resistance to them. I played in the creek, caught all nature of feathered, furry, scaly & slimy critters, wrassled yearling calves & stepped/worked in cowshit on the daily & drank from the garden hose. I only catch a cold maybe once every couple years. No allergies, no sensitivities & never once any kind of infection, either.
     
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2019
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  19. B00ger

    B00ger Das B00G Charter Member

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    Cell phones are the nastiest things we carry. Womens purses are almost as bad. Public toilet seats are arguably one of the cleanest things we come into contact with daily (unless burt has been there).
     
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  20. SPST

    SPST Member

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    I bet guys with beards have fewer allergies?
     
  21. SPST

    SPST Member

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    I've heard that menus at restaurants are one of the dirtiest things you can touch.
     
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  22. Pink_Vapor

    Pink_Vapor Well-Known Member Supporting Member

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    My bride says since I won't let her cut her hair, the beard stays or or no play time until it grows back, I'm not buying that... but it's a fair point.

    When the boys were 7-9 ish I was mowing the lawn & they were out playing. I mowed to the front, ran inside and shaved clean. Jumped back on the mower an continued around the house. They freaked out running to mom yelling about the man stealing dad's mower.
    Once I shaved only one side, I walked past them in the kitchen and all seemed normal. I turned to walk back and got a hilarious response.
     
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  23. NCLivingBrit

    NCLivingBrit Clueless Protoplasm

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    With daily boobs!
     
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  24. charliesgrave

    charliesgrave cosmoline enthusiast Benefactor Life Member Supporting Member

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    Is that the one with the "page whatever" girl? It's been 17 years since I've lived in the UK.
     
  25. premise

    premise Member Life Member

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    LOL at anybody with children talking about beards being gross.
     
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  26. Alfred

    Alfred E. Deplorabus Unum Supporting Member

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    I can't help recalling from my childhood librarian reading:

    There was an Old Man with a beard,
    Who said, "It is just as I feared!—
    Two Owls and a Hen, four Larks and a Wren,
    Have all built their nests in my beard.
     
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  27. NCLivingBrit

    NCLivingBrit Clueless Protoplasm

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    Page 3 girls. Many become "tits famous" and end up doing appearances and make very nice careers for themselves. Samantha Fox probably being the most famous, at least back in my day.

    The Star (even more tabloid than the Sun) had page 5 girls IIRC and someone else had page 7, maybe The Sport.
     
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2019
  28. BlackGun

    BlackGun Well-Known Member Supporting Member

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    You guys must be really ugly under those beards. Kudos to the wives.
     
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  29. bigfelipe

    bigfelipe I go my own way... Charter Life Member

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    That's why I wear one... Hides my face...
     
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  30. premise

    premise Member Life Member

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    Guys, does this beard make me look like I'm compensating for something?

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2019
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  31. Millie

    Millie Well-Known Member Supporting Member

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    Wow!! Love the little cap.....LOL....very fetching!
     
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  32. premise

    premise Member Life Member

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    Thanks. I recently got a side gig at Chaser's over by Plaza in Charlotte and I have to wear this outfit.
























    (In all seriousness, my wife dared me to wear it to a showing of Rocky Horror on Halloween night; she should have known better)
     
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2019
  33. Johnny

    Johnny Misanthropist Supporting Member

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    Show us your money maker...
     
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  34. Johnny

    Johnny Misanthropist Supporting Member

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    Yeah and you fit in at the show but what about every other time you wear it?
     
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  35. premise

    premise Member Life Member

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    Well, if it's a weekend, I generally get enough tips for a 4 for $4 at Wendy's.
     
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  36. spittinfire

    spittinfire Well-Known Member Charter Member

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    I prefer to think that I'm so genuinely handsome without a beard that my wife makes me wear one to help keep love starved women at bay. Either that or she wants to be married to a man who looks his age. When I do shave I look like I'm 16.
     
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  37. MadMardigan

    MadMardigan Antagonist

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    Beards only collect what the hands that run through them have on them. Maybe they should study clean people and not hobos
     
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