Military Memes

I was at Ft Leonard Wood for Basic Non Commissioned Officer school for for 12H. My instructor found out that I had previously been an Artilleryman and as the classes traded off Flag detail every week, volunteered me for the cannon duty. There I stood, 0559, out on the parade field, bright and early Monday morning. The big glass building that was the Engineer Headquarters, 3 stories above, the Engineer CSMs office was there. He was standing by the window, coffee in hand, looking down on us. I wanted to do this perfectly and as the first note played, I pulled the lanyard. BOOM! Cannon fired perfectly! What I hadn't done was check the barrel! Over the weekend, kids had stuffed the barrel full of paper, drink cans and junk! It looked like confetti! I glanced up to see the CSM, turning purple, veins bulging, spilled coffee, crooning that finger , inviting me into his office for a chat. Worse ass chewing of my life! Still graduated with Honors!
 
Not a meme, but an f'kin a-one priceless story

So we are up in the mountains at about 0100 hrs looking for a bad guy that we thought was in the area. Here are ten of us, pitch black, crystal clear night, about 25 degrees. We know there are bad guys in the area, a few shots have been fired but no big deal. We decide that we need air cover and the only thing in the area is a solo B-1 bomber.
He flies around at about 20,000 feet and tells us there is nothing in the area. He then asks if we would like a low level show of force.
Stupid question. Of course we tell him yes.
The controller who is attached to the team then is heard talking to the pilot. Pilot asks if we want it subsonic or supersonic.
Very stupid question.
Pilot advises he is twenty miles out and stand by. The controller gets us all sitting down in a line and points out the proper location. You have to picture this. Pitch black, ten killers sitting down, dead quiet and overlooking this about 30 mile long valley.
All of a sudden, way out (below our level) you see a set of four 200' white flames coming at us. The controller says, "Ah-- guys-- you might want to plug your ears". Faster than you can think, a B-1, supersonic, 1000' over our heads, blasts the sound barrier and it feels like God just hit you in the head with a hammer". He then stands it straight up with 4 white trails of flame coming out and disappears.
Cost of gas for that: Probably $50,000
Hearing damage: For certain
Bunch of ragheads thinking twice about shooting at us: Priceless.
 
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