Military Memes

I hope you will all take this with the respect and humor intended, but reading all of the stories I get the impression that the military is basically a bunch of semi-retarded acting monkeys trying to be corralled by sergeants who are in turn told what to do by the kinda men raised by women who constantly drink wine coolers and demand to speak to the manager.


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B00ger said:
I hope you will all take this with the respect and humor intended, but reading all of the stories I get the impression that the military is basically a bunch of semi-retarded acting monkeys trying to be corralled by sergeants who are in turn told what to do by the kinda men raised by women who constantly drink wine coolers and demand to speak to the manager.


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That dependa earned her husbands rank
 
That about sums it up. Don't forget the shitbirds, whose sole objective is to see just how much they can get away with and not get an article. I pulled some stupid shit and came out squeaky, it's a damned miracle.

But really, there is something beautiful that happens when a group of retards come out the winning end of something even more retarded than them.
B00ger said:
I hope you will all take this with the respect and humor intended, but reading all of the stories I get the impression that the military is basically a bunch of semi-retarded acting monkeys trying to be corralled by sergeants who are in turn told what to do by the kinda men raised by women who constantly drink wine coolers and demand to speak to the manager.


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B00ger said:
I hope you will all take this with the respect and humor intended, but reading all of the stories I get the impression that the military is basically a bunch of semi-retarded acting monkeys trying to be corralled by sergeants who are in turn told what to do by the kinda men raised by women who constantly drink wine coolers and demand to speak to the manager.


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In peacetime, largely yes. It is a large, cumbersome bureaucratic machine that moves by paperwork in triplicate and pettiness. In conflict, nothing can stop it, it is lean, and (most) everyone (mostly) works to accomplish the mission. It is also unit and leadership dependent.
 
B00ger said:
I hope you will all take this with the respect and humor intended, but reading all of the stories I get the impression that the military is basically a bunch of semi-retarded acting monkeys trying to be corralled by sergeants who are in turn told what to do by the kinda men raised by women who constantly drink wine coolers and demand to speak to the manager.


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I hope you'll take this with the humor and respect as well.

But one of the worst insults I can ever remember was a First Sergeant telling an E4 during an Article 15 proceeding--"Youre no better than a worthless godamn civilian."

Which was pretty much being referred to as sub-human, to be honest.
 
RN47 said:
I hope you'll take this with the humor and respect as well.

But one of the worst insults I can ever remember was a First Sergeant telling an E4 during an Article 15 proceeding--"Youre no better than a worthless godamn civilian."

Which was pretty much being referred to as sub-human, to be honest.
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Oh, none taken, my worthlessness is well documented.


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B00ger said:
I hope you will all take this with the respect and humor intended, but reading all of the stories I get the impression that the military is basically a bunch of semi-retarded acting monkeys trying to be corralled by sergeants who are in turn told what to do by the kinda men raised by women who constantly drink wine coolers and demand to speak to the manager.


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Not far off. There is a reason that the term lifer was turned into an acronym. Lazy Ignorant F$%k Evading Reality.

Just like anything you do anywhere there is good and bad. The issue is in the civilian world if you have a dirt bag above you your choices are suck it up, transfer or find another job. In the military the choices are suck it up or frag his ass.
 
Chuckman said:
Two types of corpsmen attached to Marines:


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Not anymore. A new NAVADMIN just came out with some different uniform reg changes and now makes sailors serving with the USMC and wearing their uniform, subject to USMC grooming standards.
 
Chdamn said:
...in the civilian world if you have a dirt bag above you your choices are suck it up, transfer or find another job. In the military the choices are suck it up or frag his ass.
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Which is why veterans transition to civilian life so well.

Now if we could just get them all to follow their natural instincts, there would be fewer dirtbags in the civilian side.

:D
 
Howland said:
Which is why veterans transition to civilian life so well.

Now if we could just get them all to follow their natural instincts, there would be fewer dirtbags in the civilian side.

:D
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I could not wait to GTFO when I retired 10 years ago & I'm still adjusting.
 
Derek8404 said:
Not anymore. A new NAVADMIN just came out with some different uniform reg changes and now makes sailors serving with the USMC and wearing their uniform, subject to USMC grooming standards.
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Ah, the difference between Navy and Marine haircuts!

Back during Desert Storm, when I was stationed in Charleston, SC with the Navy, one of my brothers got called back into Active Duty with the Marines.

So one Friday afternoon, I got in my car and drove to Camp Lejeune, got there in the wee hours of the morning, found the barracks my brother and his Gunny were in, and grabbed a couple hours of sleep.

Got up at O'Dark Thirty and headed to the galley for breakfast with my brother, a Captain at the time.

We get there, short line at the door, and when I get to the counter with the lady at the register, she acts like she's never seen a ComRats card before. So I'm explaining it to her so that she can properly charge me the $2 or whatever for breakfast...meanwhile the line, which isn't moving right now, has grown.

In fact, it's grown out the door, down the side of the building, and around the corner. Where the Gunny on the floor (making sure all the Marines don't leave any spoons behind or whatever) notices...and stands there in the middle of the mess hall and pivots around, eyes following the long line through the windows, all the way to the entrance, to the head of the line.

Where he sees me.

In civilian clothes.

With a standard Navy hair cut.

Leaning casually on the counter chatting with the lady at the cash register.

And smiling.


It got quiet in the mess hall. A storm cloud gathered over the Gunny's head and I could see him hitching his highly polished Nazi High Top *ss Kickers up in the holographic image deep in his eyes, behind bright flashes of lightening. Smoke started pouring out of his ears and his eyes took on a decidedly ominous red glare as he started marching straight toward me.

And still I smiled as I locked eyes with him.

As he stormed up to the counter, I casually leaned over to the lady at the register and said: "You know, I THOUGHT about getting a hair cut, but after looking around here and seeing all the butchered up hack jobs, I said 'Naaaaah, I don't think so!'"

The air pressure in the room dropped and took on a chill. Vapor was plainly visible coming from everybody's mouths and the windows frosted up so badly the long line of people was nothing more than a dark shadow through the windows.

The Gunny reached out and snatched up my green ID card off the counter, icy wisps of death swirling around me as he looked it over and noted my name, clearly looking at the picture and comparing it to me.

And taking note of my service.

And the name on the uniform of the officer standing behind me.

Then back at me.

Then he smacked my ID back down on the counter and stalked off, anger flaring like the pain of an impending orgasm choked off at the hand of a leather clad dominatrix.

I looked back at my brother and said "I just LOVE having a Marine officer for a brother! Marines so soooo much fun to f*ck with!"

He said, "Yeah, you and our brother Doug." (Doug was one of our older brothers who was enlisted in the Air Force.)
 
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It is definitely fun to f*ck with them. One of my favorite things that would happen is when I would hear someone angrily yelling “HEY DEVIL DOG!!!” and knowing damn well that they’re talking to me, but continuing to walk away and ignore them until they come over and realize that I’m a Corpsman. They would usually lighten up considerably once they realize you’re not a Marine.
 
Derek8404 said:
It is definitely fun to f*ck with them. One of my favorite things that would happen is when I would hear someone angrily yelling “HEY DEVIL DOG!!!” and knowing damn well that they’re talking to me, but continuing to walk away and ignore them until they come over and realize that I’m a Corpsman. They would usually lighten up considerably once they realize you’re not a Marine.
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Ha, yeah, been there. I also loved the gray area of accountability...Marines were never quite sure what they could and couldn't do with us.
 
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