My brain is a complete and total ass.

Chdamn

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So my mom is visiting and went to bed with a headache last night about 8:45. The wife and I decided to put off our nightly chores, to keep the noise down, and go to bed as well.

Me: Awesome I'll be asleep by 9:30 at the latest and get a full night sleep for the first time in I can’t remember when.

My brain: As an appetizer; your mom went to bed early because she's having an aneurysm and here's how it will be to find her cold, lifeless body in the morning. Good luck explaining that to the boy.

Me: No thanks, I'm not hungry, just a blank screen please.

My brain: But wait, there's more. Speaking of the boy......For the main course I highly recommend faces of death volume 37, where your son plays every role. This movie has a really neat bonus feature where you get to hear what his final thoughts were for each death.

Me: Why in the hell would you play this? I don't want to see this. Nobody would want to see this. What is wrong with you. Tell me why?

Brain: Why? Screw you, that's why!.....Loser.

Me: Fine. I'll just change the channel to "Boobies, Boobies, Boobies" or "Hot Girls Eating Tiny Pickles".

Me:.......

Me:......

Me: Why does it keep flipping back back on its own every 3 seconds.

Brain: Hahahahahahahaha.....suck it.

And that’s why I’m freaking tired this morning.
 
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@Chdamn when that happens I find a rhythmic breathing type meditation to calm the body followed by clearing the mind, not by trying to not think of anything, but envisioning a blank wall of whiteness works a lot of times. Sometimes a dose of melatonin will help too. If you try to think of nothing you think of everything so give it something inane to focus on. Envisioning a room in your house and going over it in great, slow detail can work too.
 
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I get up, curl up in my chair and turn on the TV. Doesn't matter what's on, I'll be asleep in 5 minutes. If I don't get up, I'll be awake in bed for hours.
 
Fortunately I can usually get back to sleep. I had a doozy tonight where I had a cat (I don't) that was trapped in my car so long without food or water it was skin and bones and had gotten so skinny it's skin/fur was falling off. As soon as I noticed it, it went beserk and ended up haring around the car then onto the windscreen. I turned on the wipers, which started to bat chunks of dessicated flesh off the thing while it howled and somehow clung to the glass. That's where I woke up.

Went and took a leak, got back into bed and went right back to sleep.
 
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I find that if you fret about the horrible things that can happen to yourself and everybody you love for the entirety of the day, by the time you get to bed you just don't care anymore.

Hahahahahaha. Awesome.
 
I used to have a reoccurring dream that I was fighting with a home intruder. I have been in more than my fair share of fights. But in my dream I couldn’t hit the intruder hard enough to hurt him.

Fast forward to a couple of years ago. I buy my S&W Shield. My reoccurring dream became me trying to fire on an intruder and I couldn’t squeeze the trigger because the safety was on. As silly as it sounds it put enough of a doubt in me that I retired the shield from full time CCW and bought my first glock.

But I would awaken with elevated pulse, and adrenaline flowing. It would take hours to go back to sleep.
 
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These things happen to my wife, a lot. Fortunately so far I have managed to outrun "night brain." Nine out of 10 nights, no matter what is going on in my life, at work, or with my family, when I shut my eyes I sleep pretty well.
 
@Chdamn when that happens I find a rhythmic breathing type meditation to calm the body followed by clearing the mind, not by trying to not think of anything, but envisioning a blank wall of whiteness works a lot of times. Sometimes a dose of melatonin will help too. If you try to think of nothing you think of everything so give it something inane to focus on. Envisioning a room in your house and going over it in great, slow detail can work too.

Yeah I'm well versed in self hypnosis and relaxation techniques and they usually work. Taking colored escalators down ward in the order of the colors of the rainbow, starting with red and ending in ultraviolet and all that jazz.

It usually works. Then there are nights like last night where my brain says.......

johnny-cash-finger-2.jpg
 
I used to have a reoccurring dream that I was fighting with a home intruder. I have been in more than my fair share of fights. But in my dream I couldn’t hit the intruder hard enough to hurt him.

Fast forward to a couple of years ago. I buy my S&W Shield. My reoccurring dream became me trying to fire on an intruder and I couldn’t squeeze the trigger because the safety was on. As silly as it sounds it put enough of a doubt in me that I retired the shield from full time CCW and bought my first glock.

But I would awaken with elevated pulse, and adrenaline flowing. It would take hours to go back to sleep.
I've had the fight dream where I'd swing as hard as possible and my punches would land like feathers...didn't faze the person.

I used to have these all the time. Add to that trying to break off the attack and retreat because nothing works and being in quicksand.

Over the last 5 or so years I've actually began having lucid dreams. Basically I know I'm dreaming and can do whatever I want.

It's like Me: "Oh you done messed up now dude, I'm freaking superman......and I have a tank.

Bad Guys: That's not possible, you can't pull a full size abrams out of you pocket.

Me: Hahahahahahahaha Suck it a-holes, I'm going to make this slow and painful. Poof, you're stuck in glue.
 
I have this in spells and they usually last for a couple of weeks and then go away. I get up to pee around 2AM every morning. During these times I won't go back to sleep. My mind is all over the place to an old high school girlfriend to chicken and waffles at Early Bird Diner in Charleston to living back in Virginia to shopping for some new boots. I cannot turn it off. After a couple of weeks of this, I'll hit the fruit jar pretty heavily before bed a night or two and my mind gets a re-boot.
 
I was expecting a shipment of two bottles of Scotch the other day. I was really excited by this as I'd been looking for it in state for weeks and none of the ABC stores carry it. I even tried to special order a case to split with @thrillhill and @BurnedOutGeek only to have them refund my money when they couldn't get it.

So I eventually found it via an online vendor who ships to NC and ordered 2 bottles as a test run. It was supposed to be delivered Monday via FedEx. It was delayed until Wednesday though.

Tuesday night I had a dream where my wife answered the door for FedEx before I could get there and then dropped the box breaking both bottles. I woke up Wednesday pissed at her.

I now understand that meme about men having to apologize for something their dream self did......
 
I'm leaving for Las Vegas and Texas April 7 and I'm very excited about this trip. I'll be gone for 2 weeks and I've been thinking about what all kinds of stuff I'll be taking. I know this is going to be playing in my mind before long. I don't know if the fruit jar will fix this one.
 
Nightly chores, huh? Around here I call that procedure the monthly or usually bi-monthly chores..
 
Nightly chores, huh? Around here I call that procedure the monthly or usually bi-monthly chores..

Lol, yeah well I actually meant chores, like loading the dishwasher, straightening the house, making my sons's lunch for the next day etc.

I still banged her like a screen door in a hurricane but if the screen door had one of them hydraulic closers on it to dampen the sound.
 
Find a dialog heavy movie you've seen a thousand times...not an action flick. Put in some wireless ear buds and listen, but don't watch.

Usually by the time Walter is screaming "AM I THE ONLY ONE THAT CARES ABOUT THE RULES?!??!?!!" I'm out like a light.
 
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I've been running MacGyver on my laptop with the screen down and earbuds. It is the only way my brain can shut off enough to get to sleep. Been doing the laptop earbud thing for a few years.
 
My brain likes to pull similar stunts on me when I try to go to bed early. I think I'll get caught up on sleep, and my brain decides to play a 'what if' game of everything that can go wrong in my life
 
My wife is peri-menopausal and has for-reals issues with insomnia, has scripts for both ambien and tramadol. She doesn't take them every night, but she knows when we go to bed if she is going to have a bad night, so she'll take one then. The ambien helps her sleep better than the tramadol.

Occasionally if I am having a bad night I will take one. Ambien, I had before, we'd be given them for flights oversees. Works meh, for me, a glass or two of wine does the same thing. The tramadol? That knocks my dick into my watch pocket. Not only do I wake up fully refreshed, my wife tells tales of me getting up, walking around, getting a glass of water...to which I have no memory.

I don't advocate drugs for sleeping issues unless it is chronic, but I can attest sleep issues are real and make for a shitty day after.
 
My wife hates me...I'm asleep within five minutes of my head hitting the pillow and sleep all the way through while she tosses, turns, gets up and back down several times before she can go to sleep. I never believed her...well I mean I did, just thought she was making it out to be worse than it was.
Then she got a FitBit and I found out she wasn't lying lol. That woman sleeps like trash.
I have a recurring dream/nightmare, too. I used to have it several times a week, but over the years it's scaled back to once every month or so.
In it, I'm a deep sea diver in one of those old school yellow bubble headed dive suits with the hose going up to the surface.
I'm walking on the ocean floor and see a pirates chest sitting there. I walk up to it and it's not locked. I reach out and grab the sides of the lid and start to open it. That's when four (always four) giant octopus tentacles start slithering out of the chest at me.
I wake up at this point. They never touch me, and as far as nightmares go, it's pretty benign. But there is no such thing as sleep after that.
 
My brain likes to pull similar stunts on me when I try to go to bed early. I think I'll get caught up on sleep, and my brain decides to play a 'what if' game of everything that can go wrong in my life

Most of that stuff already happened here, so those are pleasant "look what you survived f-nuts!" memories.
 
As a last resort, listen to the audio from the eight hours Nancy Pelosi preaching lastweek in Congress. On the other hand, that may drive you to insanity.
 
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As a last resort, listen to the audio from the eight hours Nancy Pelosi preaching lastweek in Congress. On the other hand, that may drive you to insanity.

Ew.

On the subject of recurring dreams during the years I actually slept as a youth (I was a chronic insomniac for decades) my good sleep always contained the same dream:

I'm standing on a blazing white salt flat/desert what have you. The sky is flat blue, like low pressure lack of light scatter flat. I've got my hand up to shade my eyes and I am watching a school/flock of manta rays lazily scull past..... But they're the size of counties, just enourmous. And flying. Dream goes on for what feels like days. Just watching titanic fish float by. I used to wake feeling like I'd slept for a week, full of energy until I just never had the dream again.
 
I have trouble sleeping as well but my issue seems to be two toddlers and a week old new born. Without them present I have no issues falling asleep and sleeping like a rock.

Yeah, you made those problems yourself lol
 
I usually sleep like a rock. Out in minutes. But I've had nights were the brain just goes crazy. Or Tuesday night, 4 rounds of projectile vomiting. Didn't get to sleep till 4 am. Slept till noon. Layed in the recliner until midnight. Then slept till noon again. That was a miserable 24 hours.
 
I don't get the booze answer... I sleep like shit when I drink. Then the next morning comes and it's really not worth it... Still do it for some reason... o_O
 
3 things:
1. sorry about your pre-menopausal wife's episodes. after my wife had her ooferectomy, those estrogen episodes are history.
2. dreams...i'm that guy who is boring in life and in dreams. no nightmares; no sexy situations; but i do remember most of them.
3. and that's what i'm working on...lucent dreaming. here's a link: http://howtolucid.com/how-to-lucid-dream-tonight
 
3 things:
1. sorry about your pre-menopausal wife's episodes. after my wife had her ooferectomy, those estrogen episodes are history.
2. dreams...i'm that guy who is boring in life and in dreams. no nightmares; no sexy situations; but i do remember most of them.
3. and that's what i'm working on...lucent dreaming. here's a link: http://howtolucid.com/how-to-lucid-dream-tonight
If the dreams are in color that is significant.
 
yes.
you nailed it.
in Technicolor.
but sometimes,
a little darker...
like sundown.
 
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