Prayers and Question

nchunt101

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I may have touched on this in the "Is it allright to cry thread?" but my dad is having some serious health problems that are related to his accident. I am struggling with trying not to shut down and becoming completly unemotional. It makes it a lot easier for me to cope and also helps me push on and get my dad the help he needs but alienates my family who think I am uncaring etc. I dont really know what I am asking other than for prayers that i stay stron but not turn into an ass hole.

The question is I keep thinking my dad would of been happier if he had died (he was very close) and part of me wishes he had. I feel like an awful person and a shitty son for feeling this way but when we talk about me making sure his DNR is honored it is tough.
 
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I think all of us realize that sometimes it would be better for our loved one if death went ahead and took them. This is especially true for those of us who believe in the Afterlife. So no, that doesn't make you a bad person or a terrible son. None of that belief makes it easier to lose them, tho, and certainly doesn't make it easier to watch the loved one suffer.

You have my thoughts and prayers. I hope you find peace in however you handle this.
 
I too hope you find peace. Not displaying, focusing on, or embracing extreme emotions foes not make you uncaring. Everyone reacts to painful situations differently and there is nothing wrong with doing so in the manner that works best for you.

Feeling and thinking that your dad would have been better off if he had died does not make you a bad person. It means you realize what he's going through and don't want to see him suffer. To me, death is as much a natural and necessary process as is life and I don't believe that it is something that should be feared, nor do I believe that a divine being demands that we cling to the physical form. Therefore, I don't view your actions (and feelings ) as a form of "sin" , but compassion.
 
Thoughts and prayers. And, no, you're not an awful person nor a shitty son.
 
I dealt with the same thing a year ago when my mom was dying of lung cancer. That's a terrible way to die. She had so many close calls but always came back. She would have been better off, but, God had other plans. He used my mom to bring my dad back to church! And he's been going almost every Sunday since she died. Gods plans aren't our plans and wishing your loved ones peace doesn't make you an asshole. Take it from someone who has been called an asshole, cold, uncaring and callus. It didn't make me a bad son or person, I loved Mom just as I always did, I just wished her peace and a peaceful departure from this world of pain that she was in. You have my thoughts and prayers, and believe me, prayers do help and God hears them, He just answers in His own time.
 
Thanks for the replys/prayers. They mean more than you know. It has just been a shit show lately.
 
No, it does not make you a bad person at all. It shows you care and wish to see them avoid suffering; perfectly normal and expected. You just have the guts to admit it openly.
Prayer sent for him, them, and you.
 
having dealt with something similar, I asked my wife (about her mother) If you were at peace and nearing the end of the road, would you enjoy the your family making the road longer because "they" weren't ready ?....... peace and prayers....
 
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