Prayers or thoughts if your not into it

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The Green Heron

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I don't know anything else to do. Find myself staring into that dark hole quite a bit the past few weeks. Sure it's a bad time of the year for me. Sometimes I just feel so broken.

The oldest is worrying the hell out of me. She has gotten so confrontational that Trudi doesn't want her around when I'm home. Last night she came over and I tried to be civil, she tried to agg me on and finally got her wish. It seems to be the last straw for me.

The night before I was calm as she tried to run down a friend that is a preachers son. She found out he had a newborn and immediately started laughing and railing about how Christians are all hypocrites. I calmly explained he got married at least 9 months ago. She exploded and personally attacked me and my ideals at that point.

In the last few months I have had to listen about how I have failed her, and everyone else in my life. I didn't go to college, so I can't relate to her ideals, and how she doesn't want to end up like me.

I tried to post this last night and it didn't post. Been pretty low. Trying to imagine I'm not just some ant under God's magnifying glass.

Trudi said tonight that I'm not the only person in the world who has suffered tragedy. Yeah, I know that, guess maybe that's her knee jerk to seeing me like this. I'm sure it doesn't help that I simply don't talk about what eats me on a daily basis. I guess I should just accept being this broken thing.

​​​​​​​Pray for my family.
 
I'm sending up prayers for you and your family.

Now having said that, IMO that you need to find the 2x4 for your daughter. By that I mean that sometimes it takes a 2x4 to get their attention. Your job is to find the 2x4 that will work for her. And it may be when you throw her bodily out of your house and tell her that she isn't going to talk to you that way anymore.

But that and $2.50 might get you a cup of coffee at Charbucks...
 
I hear you brother. I have one of those daughters too. Book learnin ain't all it's cracked up to be. The last full grade I finished was 8th. I'll be thinking of you. Holler at me if you need me.
 
Nope broken is not how God does things.

Pray.
Talk to God. Talk to your daughter. Find out what's really bothering her. Communication is paramount, even if you don't feel like it.

Get alone with God. yell, scream, do whatever it takes to get answers. God knows you, he made you, so he knows what's going on.

It will work out.

ps ... the thought thing doesn't accomplish much. :)
 
I'm sad that you have this pain. And I pray for peace and understanding for you, and your family.
 
Don;n56728 said:
I'm sending up prayers for you and your family.

Now having said that, IMO that you need to find the 2x4 for your daughter. By that I mean that sometimes it takes a 2x4 to get their attention. Your job is to find the 2x4 that will work for her. And it may be when you throw her bodily out of your house and tell her that she isn't going to talk to you that way anymore.

But that and $2.50 might get you a cup of coffee at Charbucks...
Click to expand...

That is almost exactly what happened last night. What is wrong with me ain't just that. It's far deeper and broader than this grown youngin problem.
I told her to get the #@_$ out of my house. Her granny has been staying with us for weeks now because she can't live with her. In bled over last night into me telling Momma that she has enabled Katie for years. I threw her out years ago, she moved accross the yard.

It's at this point......I should shut up, I need to get it out.

She has "come out" some time ago. A very few of you already know this, some of you suspected it. If I personally told you, you already know how much I trust you as a friend. That I am telling you this shows what I think of those who have formed this forum. You my friends are my refuge on this planet.

You now know the reason my convictions are strong on this kind of deviant behavior.
Katie was mad beyond understanding when I found her younger sister's texts to a boy in school. She called me a homophobe when I pointed out that teen girls lusting after teen boys was a natural thing. She just insisted I was a homophobe and wouldn't extend her the same leeway. I did discipline Sarah with extreme prejudice, but not without a lengthy explanation of WHY.

I have raised Katelyn, so I know her demons. She was not raised that way and she was certainly not born that way. Her problems didn't start until she went to UNCA. Oh I still bear the blame myself, and beat myself with that cudgel daily. Angie used to get mad at me for beating myself down about failing Kate.

​​​That isn't all that is ailing me, it's just the last bit of luggage that broke the axle spring.

I'm in pain all the time, no doctor will replace my knee. My right arm is shot from the tendons I broke. My shoulders hurt all the time, my left arm I can barely lift without wincing in pain.

Pulled a pretty bad drunk tonight.....And here I am asking for prayer. It is true though, ain't no answers to life in the bottom of that bottle, but I already knew that.
I'm a poor excuse for a Christian, I know that. I am a man of unclean lips, my feet at least are clean. Some of you understand that reference, those that don't, I can give you a lesson on that thought. I am ashamed to say I have been a Sunday school teacher. The fault is mine, God's word is true. Some men pass the test, I am no Job.

When Kate was 3 months old she was kidnapped by her mother and a couple dykes from a women's shelter, who posed as county agents. I found out early about those in power and how they operate. I nearly lost my job, when those women showed up at a fundraiser at my place of employment. Seems that the wife of the assistant director for Greenville Utilities had made these criminals her pet project to support. Some of you guys would have been proud of what I did, others will argue how much good they do. My lawyer feared them intensely for their ability to make a child completely disappear.

I lived in fear for years, until I moved to the mountains. I had lost every dime I ever made. Had plumbed a lawyer's house, because I didn't have the cash to pay him. Don and Amanda Stroud are fine people, and great lawyers.

I dedicated that child to God. I prayed over her every night with the urgency of Jeremiah. Trudi does not know this, she doesn't really know much beyond the fact that I lost my wife of 18.5 years.

When Kate sat in my living room and told me and Angie what she had become I lost it, I lost my joy. I recounted how I had prayed for her, for a hedge about her. I said at that time it must all be a lie, that fairy tale that some attribute to it. I have met many and am kin to a few, that call the Bible "just another book". I believe to this day that is my sin that took my wife. I did something wrong, I'm sure of that.
I was offered a ray of hope when lamenting my sins after Angie died. Kate put her hand on my shoulder and said, "Daddy, Job didn't do anything."

All that is true. Job however was a righteous man, my righteousness is filthy rags.

I've never treated Kate different, yet she insists that I hate faggots.I don't hate anyone. Some of you that know me know that. While I was in the keys, I contacted my old supervisor, a man who treated me like a dog for 16 years. I told him it would be good to see him, and I meant it.

I put up a good front. Hard as armor plate on the outside......
 
I wish I had words to comfort or a prescription to heal. I don't, but my heart goes out and my prayers go up for you.
 
The Green Heron , I don't know you. But you strike me as a good man. None of us are worthy of Christ. That is the point. Do not say you are ashamed to be a Sunday school teacher. We try and that is all we can do because we are imperfect, we are guaranteed to fail.

Your daughter sounds old enough to make her own choice. It is not on you. I know my words are little comfort but hear me out. My cousin is a drug addict and has been a drain on my uncle his whole life. My uncle will always be burdened with guilt over his son's choices even though my cousin is responsible for himself.

I am am sorry you are feeling pain and looking in to the darknes. But remember the good. How fortunate are you to have found Trudi? How fortunate are you to live in one of the most beautiful and peaceful places on the planet? You are blessed. Do not forget the light when you see the dark.
 
God bless you for sharing so openly. Your pain is palpable and not uncommon in these uncertain times. I am heartened by the fact that you have shared the hope that you have. The best I can offer you is the fact that this situation is not permanent. I have also been in some dark places with my youngest. Years of difficulty have given way to positive change and I have miraculously become much smarter in his estimation than I was just a few years ago. My best advice is to persevere and not give way to despair. Remain consistent and resolute, but loving. Keep the doors open for relationship. As the Word says, "as much as it depends on you, live at peace." My prayers for direction and peace. The Lord is with you.
 
Joe, man lm sorry that you're going through all of this! Brother, you can't take the blame for this on as your own! You can raise children all the same way and each one will turn out different. A lot depends on who else they have influencing their lives. They make their own decisions and you can't control them! Believe me, I've got 2 that where raised the same and they are 180 degrees different! All you can do is tell them how much you love them and drive on! When your wife died, it had nothing to do with anything that you did or didn't do, it was just her time. Every one of us is granted a full life, some just aren't as long as others, but they are as full as God wants them! As hard as it is you just have to be glad for the time you had with her and know in your heart that you'll see her again! I believe that God puts people in our lives to keep us on his path. He gave you another chance at love and life with Trudi! How you use this chance is up to you! And even though there are trials and tribulations the Lords not through with you yet! He lays out the paths to a great life, you must choose which path to walk. Brother, you're way smarter than me and you'll figure this out. I'm very proud to have you as a friend and if you need anything, you've got my number. Get some sleep, tomorrow is a new day!
 
Prayers to you and the family. God knows what you need, just keep praying for guidance. God gives us only challenges that we can handle, He knows you are a srong person and He will help you in overcoming all difficulties.
 
Well Life is a funny thing sometimes. You have the good and bad just like Job, God will Not give you more than you can handle. Best Sunday school teacher I ever had stood in front of the room, with his smoking hot 22 year old daughter skimpily dressed Sorry had to be said, and said that if you put a table full of pills, cocaine and alcohol on that table it would not bother him. But if you put porn or a scantily dressed woman in front of him he had issues. Right there is a man of god strong enough to share his sin with his Sunday school class. Sure sounds like you are made of the same fortitude as he is and your Daughter could probably do with seeing the old you a little more even if she doesn't want too look or participate. I have a sister that went through a gay phase in her life, seams a counselor had lead her to be "happy". It didn't last because she had many other issues to work through and it was a phase to make her "happy". I have seen many many stories of counselors being as destructive as helpful but it might be a good Idea to see if just the two of you could go to one together. Good luck sir and prayers be with you.
 
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The Green Heron

I thought about your post all night, struggling to find words that would in some way comfort you and ease your pain. My hope is that through the collective thoughts, prayers, words, and actions of the people from this forum family will somehow provide a balm to soothe your troubled soul.

The series of events we call "life" are callous and cruel and over time weigh us down to the point we don't know if we can cope or go on. Whether it is our bodies breaking down or the loss of those we love the most or even what seems to be the intentional cruel acts of others, we struggle to hold our head up and keep functioning even if it seems pointless. I know. Believe me, I know. That dark place is a hell that seems progressively worse and unending. I've been there....more than once. Many of us have.

We believe that our specific circumstances are unique, and in some ways they are, that others people don't understand or comprehend the pain and torment we are facing.

But what we fail to see in our clouded state, is others that not only have suffered similarly, but have made it through the darkness and can empathize with what you're experiencing. People like these here at this gathering of thoughts we call a "gun forum" that can and will help you, if only by listening, providing you with an outlet, a way to vent. People that will lift you up in prayer and dedicate their thoughts to your well being.

Many have never met you and only know you from the words you've spoken here, but will be willing to help in any way possible that they are able.

Draw on this. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. In many ways we love you and care about you.

Somethings that you said are right. You are a sinner, as am I. We will both continue to be sinful creatures, it is our nature, our struggle. GOD loves us anyway. That is the nature of HIS Grace. The measure of HIS Love is our salvation, free to us, regardless of the cost to HIM. He knows our sinful ways and will still redeem us - that is LOVE.

We don't understand GOD'S purpose in the events that form our lives. We only react to those events and must trust HIM in all things. HIS Grace is sufficient. It will see you through.

The people here are one of GOD's comforts for you. Lean on us. Let us help you however we can to see you through those dark places.
 
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Thoughts and prayers my friend. Everything happens for a reason, God will reveal that reason when it is time.
 
Cowboy;n56848 said:
God will Not give you more than you can handle.
Click to expand...

I don't want this to turn into an argument, but I cringe every time I see that advice...as it's simply not biblical truth.

This thread is a prime example. If God wouldn't give us more than we can handle, we wouldn't need Him. It's like the poem framed in so many houses called Footprints. I assume everybody has seen that before, but if not:

219fe608c36ce91ddea95d39026976e8.jpg


Joe...you're going through a time that you can't handle on your own. That's why you have Christ to lean on, and also your brothers in Christ...us. I'm glad you've reached out asking for prayer warriors, instead of relying on yourself, or doing anything you'd definitely regret later.

I pray for God's wisdom to be revealed to you. I pray for the hearts of those around you to be opened, that the Spirit may move in them.
 
BigWaylon said:
Cowboy;n56848 said:
God will Not give you more than you can handle.
Click to expand...

I don't want this to turn into an argument, but I cringe every time I see that advice...as it's simply not biblical truth.

This thread is a prime example. If God wouldn't give us more than we can handle, we wouldn't need Him. It's like the poem framed in so many houses called Footprints. I assume everybody has seen that before, but if not:

219fe608c36ce91ddea95d39026976e8.jpg


Joe...you're going through a time that you can't handle on your own. That's why you have Christ to lean on, and also your brothers in Christ...us. I'm glad you've reached out asking for prayer warriors, instead of relying on yourself, or doing anything you'd definitely regret later.

I pray for God's wisdom to be revealed to you. I pray for the hearts of those around you to be opened, that the Spirit may move in them.
Click to expand...
Traditionally that phrase has always been an understanding that it's with Jesus you can handle anything. The understanding that with him you can handle anything and nothing you can't handle. So yeah your right but pointing it out in a post like this is kind of a dick move. But see this is the problem with the Christans that want to correct everything they see. Because sometimes you can't correct things and it's with thoughtful prayer that keeps this moving in a direction that brings in a peace. Or maybe that I was in the middle of third shift with 5 drunks hanging off of me and I wanted to say something that was at least a little encouraging. So sorry for any of your Christian faux pa. You can love people without excepting thier behaviors or beliefs.
 
Brother, I can only empathize with what you are going through. The thoughts of a rebellion of this sort are every parents nightmare and far too many parents reality. My only words are for you to continue to love her. Despite the pain she sends back send her love. It is sometimes the hardest things to do.

We learn in the Bible to love our enemies. Because even the heathen loves those who only love them. It is the ability to show love and compassion for those who persecute you and hate you that sets us apart.

It may take months, years even, but one day the love you show her will become clear to her and even if she doesn't "change", she will at least acknowledge that through it all you at least loved her.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
The Green Heron I did not see your post until this morning, and my heart, thoughts and prayers go out to and for you and your family. My wife and I spoke at length this morning about similar issues in our family; they never have an easy resolution.

While no one can offer you a solution, when faced with my own dark times, the words of Romans 8 - especially verses 18-39 and Psalm 139 have been especially helpful in helping me remember who has ultimate authority over all of these things. There are countless other texts offering strength and comfort, but these have been most helpful for me.

I commend them to you for your reflection, as I pray that God will give you and your family strength, wisdom, consolation and peace.
 
The Green Heron

I've never met you, but you are my brother in Christ.
I hope my words come from the Holy Spirit to give you comfort and hope.

I feel you are going to receive a blessing. I know it does not look like that now...but sometimes God has to put us on our back so the only way we can look is up!

Trust in God. It's hard..I know. I struggle myself...we all do as we are human.

I love you and will be praying for you.

DS
 
Lord we ask for peace for Joe. We ask for relief from physical pain and illness. We ask for a clear mind for his daughter. We ask for a restored relationship for his daughter. We pray for Trudi as its hard watching someone you love go through this. Lord, heal this family. Amen.
 
Joe, I'm sorry I hadn't seen this when we talked on the phone today as you were traveling through. All I have figured out about kids is they come prewired. Anyone who doesn't believe this never had one with their wires crossed. I don't know how to uncross them. We do what we can, and then one day we'll be gone. I remind mine of that.
 
Yeah. If there's one thing I'm good at, it's being imperfect. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I'm a very bad Christian. I'm a jerk to people, and I can be very hateful. I smoke cigars, drink heavily, and... well, that's really it, but still. It's that we try to improve upon ourselves, though, that's always mattered to me.

I'd lay down my life for my closest friends and my family, and if I do something I feel is wrong or immoral, I try to do what I can to fix it. Nobody's perfect, and if I met someone who was, I'd hate their guts.

With that being said, my own relationship with people of the homosexual persuasion is often less than wonderful. I dislike most gay people, and say un PC things like "that's so gay." It's my right not to like people, though. Plenty of people don't like me, and I'm fine with that. I do a lot of unlikeable things. This idea that everyone needs to like eachother is bogus. As long as we can "live" with eachother, that's good enough for me.
 
Prating for you Joe, keep your head up and keep plowing through
 
As one very rebellious kid (who's now an old man) I can only tell you that sometimes things come around in ways you couldn't expect. I'll also keep you and your family in my prayers.

One day at a time brother. Sometimes one hour or one minute at a time.
 
The Green Heron said:
Don;n56728 said:
I'm sending up prayers for you and your family.

Now having said that, IMO that you need to find the 2x4 for your daughter. By that I mean that sometimes it takes a 2x4 to get their attention. Your job is to find the 2x4 that will work for her. And it may be when you throw her bodily out of your house and tell her that she isn't going to talk to you that way anymore.

But that and $2.50 might get you a cup of coffee at Charbucks...
Click to expand...

That is almost exactly what happened last night. What is wrong with me ain't just that. It's far deeper and broader than this grown youngin problem.
I told her to get the #@_$ out of my house. Her granny has been staying with us for weeks now because she can't live with her. In bled over last night into me telling Momma that she has enabled Katie for years. I threw her out years ago, she moved accross the yard.

It's at this point......I should shut up, I need to get it out.

She has "come out" some time ago. A very few of you already know this, some of you suspected it. If I personally told you, you already know how much I trust you as a friend. That I am telling you this shows what I think of those who have formed this forum. You my friends are my refuge on this planet.

You now know the reason my convictions are strong on this kind of deviant behavior.
Katie was mad beyond understanding when I found her younger sister's texts to a boy in school. She called me a homophobe when I pointed out that teen girls lusting after teen boys was a natural thing. She just insisted I was a homophobe and wouldn't extend her the same leeway. I did discipline Sarah with extreme prejudice, but not without a lengthy explanation of WHY.

I have raised Katelyn, so I know her demons. She was not raised that way and she was certainly not born that way. Her problems didn't start until she went to UNCA. Oh I still bear the blame myself, and beat myself with that cudgel daily. Angie used to get mad at me for beating myself down about failing Kate.

​​​That isn't all that is ailing me, it's just the last bit of luggage that broke the axle spring.

I'm in pain all the time, no doctor will replace my knee. My right arm is shot from the tendons I broke. My shoulders hurt all the time, my left arm I can barely lift without wincing in pain.

Pulled a pretty bad drunk tonight.....And here I am asking for prayer. It is true though, ain't no answers to life in the bottom of that bottle, but I already knew that.
I'm a poor excuse for a Christian, I know that. I am a man of unclean lips, my feet at least are clean. Some of you understand that reference, those that don't, I can give you a lesson on that thought. I am ashamed to say I have been a Sunday school teacher. The fault is mine, God's word is true. Some men pass the test, I am no Job.

When Kate was 3 months old she was kidnapped by her mother and a couple dykes from a women's shelter, who posed as county agents. I found out early about those in power and how they operate. I nearly lost my job, when those women showed up at a fundraiser at my place of employment. Seems that the wife of the assistant director for Greenville Utilities had made these criminals her pet project to support. Some of you guys would have been proud of what I did, others will argue how much good they do. My lawyer feared them intensely for their ability to make a child completely disappear.

I lived in fear for years, until I moved to the mountains. I had lost every dime I ever made. Had plumbed a lawyer's house, because I didn't have the cash to pay him. Don and Amanda Stroud are fine people, and great lawyers.

I dedicated that child to God. I prayed over her every night with the urgency of Jeremiah. Trudi does not know this, she doesn't really know much beyond the fact that I lost my wife of 18.5 years.

When Kate sat in my living room and told me and Angie what she had become I lost it, I lost my joy. I recounted how I had prayed for her, for a hedge about her. I said at that time it must all be a lie, that fairy tale that some attribute to it. I have met many and am kin to a few, that call the Bible "just another book". I believe to this day that is my sin that took my wife. I did something wrong, I'm sure of that.
I was offered a ray of hope when lamenting my sins after Angie died. Kate put her hand on my shoulder and said, "Daddy, Job didn't do anything."

All that is true. Job however was a righteous man, my righteousness is filthy rags.

I've never treated Kate different, yet she insists that I hate faggots.I don't hate anyone. Some of you that know me know that. While I was in the keys, I contacted my old supervisor, a man who treated me like a dog for 16 years. I told him it would be good to see him, and I meant it.

I put up a good front. Hard as armor plate on the outside......
Click to expand...
Love the sinner, hate the sin. We all sin and fall short. No one is worthy and there are no degrees of sin. God see them all the same. We should too. Prayers for you my friend.
 
@The Green Heron, reading this thread really puts things into perspective. We will be praying for you. You are not alone. This will only make you stronger and when you reach the other side you will be the better man for it.
 
Just saw this thread and I can sympathize with some of what you are going through.

I'm new here and I don't know a lot of you guys except some that crossed over from the other site I posted on.

I'm going through a similar thing with my daughter.
Seems like her "wires have been crossed" since she was born.
Rebellious, no form of punishment or reward seemed to work with her.
2 kids out of wedlock and with someone of different color (not sure how to say that and not offend anyone...), yet I still tried my best to help her & her family.
The dad is a deadbeat, has not paid any child support in 8yrs (thankfully they went different ways 7yr ago after he became abusive), and has nothing to do with those little boys.
She ended up with another deadbeat/freeloader/abuser.
And, from that and those situations, gone now to a relationship with another woman.

I love my daughter and I have supported my daughter the last 10yr - financially as well, but what she is doing now, goes against every grain in my body.
I'm trying to accept this, what she has chose as a way of life, to not be a hypocrite and say it's OK as long as it's not my child or to say that as long as they are happy, I'm happy.
It is very hard and I can't say that right now.
I love her because she's my daughter, but I just can't accept this right now.

I'm not free of sin either, no one is, and I have my faults as well.
I will pray for you and your family.

I don't know most of y'all but I just aired my dirty laundry with you. :eek:
Maybe it will help me to know that someone else is going through something similar and we can understand or try to understand together...
 
I didn't see this when it was new.

It seems funny to me that someone can live in your house, take advantage of your beneficence and the advantages that you provided that weren't provided to you and at the same time run you down. You see where I'm going here?
 
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