Update on my dad

RFMan

RFMan

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We brought my dad home from the hospital today. I’ve been down here over a week now. He had two visits to the ER for paracentesis, to drain malignant ascites (I’ve been stretching my vocabulary the past month). His metastatic colon cancer is in its last stages; he has a lot going on, all bad. Liver failure is in progress. I don’t know how much longer he has on this earth with us; not long, from the looks of things. He wanted to go home, and I accomplished that much for him. Actually, I just initiated it - the Lord got him home, because we weren’t sure he would survive the trip. It’s been a long hard road, and it’s not quite over yet. I appreciate all the prayers in the other thread https://www.carolinafirearmsforum.com/index.php?threads/could-use-some-prayers-for-my-dad.45600/ Means a lot.

As an aside: we love to gripe about the prep and the irritation and everything - I know that I complain about it too - but GET YOUR DAMN COLONOSCOPY. He didn’t get one at some point early on, when he should have (back when the prep REALLY sucked). It probably would have headed all this off, or at least greatly increased survival probability. Now I know that 82 is a good life, and he has other health issues also - but we had a decent handle on them, so this is kind of premature. And...it sucks. I know that I and the rest of the family did a lot. I know it objectively, and people tell me so. But I’ll always feel like I let him down in some way. He was a simple farmer, dedicated to his Lord and his family (which is not a bad summary at all). I am not-a-medial-doctor doctor :) but he figured I could come up with an answer to whatever he needed, and I couldn’t for this one. That will ride with me the rest of my days. Dottye still is the same way concerning her mom from 3.5 months ago.

Sorry about the stream-of-consciousness; been running on fumes for a while. The real painful grind is setting in. Thanks for listening.
 
God speed to your dad, and to you, in this last leg of this hard journey. It is an awful thing to ride this road.
You will remember it with pain, but you will also say to yourself that you would not have had it any other way, to be there with your dad.
 
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My father eventually died from liver metastasis originating from prostate cancer. It is grim once the liver is involved. FWIW, I have always found Col 1:24 a useful prayer in such moments. Place each other into the pierced side of Christ, next to His Sacred Heart.
 
I’m sorry to hear that Todd. Wishing the best, given the circumstances, for you and your family
 
Sorry to hear about your dad. Peace be with you and your family. As you said, he was able to come home.
 
I am sorry. I will pray for comfort and understanding for you and your family.
 
Millie said:
Friends are here to listen, and prop you guys up when you need them to.
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It is a testament that I can pour my heart out in front of this huge crowd of people, most of whom I unfortunately have not had the pleasure of meeting in person (yet).
 
Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family Todd! I know it’s been a long road.
 
The LORD shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore - Psalm 121:8
 
Prayers out for comfort and understanding in this painful, confusing time. May your father's journey back to his savior be a quick and painless one. Spend as much time with him a you can. One of my regrets with my family I have lost. Time is precious, never know how much sand we have left in the hour glass. Stay strong.
 
I usually find that when people think they haven't done enuff for a parent that the parent thinks they have a great kid. I bet your dad feels that way. I know my mom did because she told me so. Find peace in the knowledge that you are a good kid. And if you don't believe me tell your dad you think you haven't done enuff for him and see what he says. My money is on him saying you are a great son.
 
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
 
RFMan said:
We brought my dad home from the hospital today. I’ve been down here over a week now. He had two visits to the ER for paracentesis, to drain malignant ascites (I’ve been stretching my vocabulary the past month). His metastatic colon cancer is in its last stages; he has a lot going on, all bad. Liver failure is in progress. I don’t know how much longer he has on this earth with us; not long, from the looks of things. He wanted to go home, and I accomplished that much for him. Actually, I just initiated it - the Lord got him home, because we weren’t sure he would survive the trip. It’s been a long hard road, and it’s not quite over yet. I appreciate all the prayers in the other thread https://www.carolinafirearmsforum.com/index.php?threads/could-use-some-prayers-for-my-dad.45600/ Means a lot.

As an aside: we love to gripe about the prep and the irritation and everything - I know that I complain about it too - but GET YOUR DAMN COLONOSCOPY. He didn’t get one at some point early on, when he should have (back when the prep REALLY sucked). It probably would have headed all this off, or at least greatly increased survival probability. Now I know that 82 is a good life, and he has other health issues also - but we had a decent handle on them, so this is kind of premature. And...it sucks. I know that I and the rest of the family did a lot. I know it objectively, and people tell me so. But I’ll always feel like I let him down in some way. He was a simple farmer, dedicated to his Lord and his family (which is not a bad summary at all). I am not-a-medial-doctor doctor :) but he figured I could come up with an answer to whatever he needed, and I couldn’t for this one. That will ride with me the rest of my days. Dottye still is the same way concerning her mom from 3.5 months ago.

Sorry about the stream-of-consciousness; been running on fumes for a while. The real painful grind is setting in. Thanks for listening.
Click to expand...

Incoming Prayers.
 
I'm sure it meant a lot to him to come home. That should make this process a little more comfortable for him.
 
Schattenreiter said:
I usually find that when people think they haven't done enuff for a parent that the parent thinks they have a great kid. I bet your dad feels that way. I know my mom did because she told me so. Find peace in the knowledge that you are a good kid. And if you don't believe me tell your dad you think you haven't done enuff for him and see what he says. My money is on him saying you are a great son.
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I appreciate that. Being an old farmer, he never was very expressive, but he did tell me something like that a few years ago, and I remember it word-for-word, and where we were when he did. But now...he is at the stage where he can't talk. My head tells me I've been doing the best I can, but my heart yearns to hear that from his lips. I told that to him last night and this morning, while giving him a bit to drink, and he can't respond verbally, and it tears me up. Mostly because he can't tell me what he needs - something to drink, move on this side or that, etc. But I do appreciate that empathy, and where it comes from.
 
One of the things I can't help but think is the blessing in this moment is,
You brought him home.
This is huge, and please, do not under-value what this means to him. I'd venture to say this was the most important thing you could do for him at this time.

I lost my Mother-in Law and her brother to a drunk driver. My Wife, the only child, was understandably devastated. Still chokes me up.
There was no opportunity for reckoning, hold hands, smile.

You have these opportunities, and it's not by chance. It was meant to be.
Yes indeed, I would say that you are blessed in many ways. :)
God love you, and God love your Father.
 
Friday said:
One of the things I can't help but think is the blessing in this moment is,
You brought him home.
This is huge, and please, do not under-value what this means to him. I'd venture to say this was the most important thing you could do for him at this time.

I lost my Mother-in Law and her brother to a drunk driver. My Wife, the only child, was understandably devastated. Still chokes me up.
There was no opportunity for reckoning, hold hands, smile.

You have these opportunities, and it's not by chance. It was meant to be.
Yes indeed, I would say that you are blessed in many ways. :)
God love you, and God love your Father.
Click to expand...
All I can say is thank you, while I grab another Kleenex.
 
So sorry. Prayers for an easy passing and prayers to you for the strength to let him go and only remember the great memories you two had together.
 
Prayers for your father and family.
I can truly empathize.
My father died in 1998 from a rather aggressive colon cancer. He had been following the screening protocol too. He next one was due a few months after here found a lump in his neck.
My doctor scheduled my first colonoscopy as soon as I told her about him.
Been 21 years. I've had probably 5 colonoscopies. Last one found 2 polyps. Both benign. But one had abnormal cells that they know can grow to malignant if not removed.

Sent from my SM-G970U using Tapatalk
 
Well, here's the final earthly update...

He passed away at 7:30 this morning, at home. All of us (two children, our spouses, grandchild) were around his bed. His breathing slowed, stopped...peacefully. A few minutes later, his face had smoothed out, he looked young again, and actually had a smile on his face. He didn't want hospice and he didn't want morphine - we did the care ourselves with one caregiver, and he didn't need morphine. So we were able to honor his wishes to a great degree. Visitation Sunday, funeral Monday. I'll be executor.

It hurts, but we are relieved for him. And we are smothered under the outpouring from the community.

Thanks again for all the prayers and concerns.
 
He has crossed over into glory.
 
He's walking in a green valley with golden sunshine on his shoulders.
 
Condolences to you and the family.
The Lord welcomed your father into paradise, where there will be no sorrow, no weeping or pain, but fullness of peace and joy.
 
Our lives however long on this Earth are only a blink of an eye, in comparison to where we will spend eternity. I think you can find peace in that smile, for he is truly home now.
 
I really appreciate all the comments, support, and prayers. Y'all have been an extra bastion of support during this time - maybe not with me in the flesh, but certainly in (the) Spirit.
 
Sorry for your loss. It is a journey we all must take one day. Sounds like you all did the best for him that anyone could expect. Rest easy knowing he is at peace now.
 
My condolences to you all.
I'm glad he got to be at home with people who loved him and whom he loved around him at the end.
 
Prayers and love to support you, your family and all who loved your Dad.
 
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