How did I get home? (Another story from the old man)

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One of the places I worked in Southeast Asia was a place called Long Tieng. The Laos wrote it as Long Chieng or Cheng, but it was pronounced by everyone as Long Chen. Go figure. In the flight language we used it was listed as LS-20A—Lima (Laos) Site 20 Alternate—or Alternate for short. There were other sites listed with an “A” behind there number for being an alternate but they were always referred to by their complete number designation such as LS-118A—would be Lima Site 118 Alpha. Only 20 Alternate was ever shortened to just Alternate.

Alternate was located in an oblong valley running roughly East and West long ways. The runway was around 3200 feet above sea level. As you can see in Photo-1 the vegetation-covered limestone karsts at the western end of the runway forced the cargo planes to land from East to West. Takeoffs were from West to East.

The hill to the left was the South side of the runway or South Ridge. The hill to the right was the North side of the runway or Skyline Ridge.

Photo-2 is a wide angle shot taken from the top of the south ridge. Photos-3 & 4 were taken while descending into Alternate from the Northwest after crossing Skyline Ridge. Photo-5 is a better view of the main village on the Southwest end of the runway.

Sometime before I started working at the Alternate the Hmong in the area captured a bear cub that had been badly wounded. He was nursed back to health, but his feet were so badly damaged that he had no claws. Since he could not be released back into the wild he was turned loose in the compound.

Bear behaved like a puppy and soon became an instant star. He quickly developed a huge appetite for sweets and junk food of any kind. The permanent residents quickly learned to place these items where Bear could not get to them.

The air crews rotated usually on a weekly basis and it took a while for the word on Bear to get around. In the meantime Bear assumed the hooch where air crews stayed was his free range to forage. In the middle of the night he would come in and forage around and under sleeping cots for anything edible.

As he got bigger he began overturning occupied sleeping cots in the middle of the night while foraging. Talk about a rude awakening. Then he began chewing on crewmember’s boots at night. It was becoming obvious that Bear was developing a huge “Baby Huey” syndrome. He was getting to where he could no longer be allowed free range to play with the other ducklings. So reluctantly a cage was built for him. Photo-6 is Bear’s cage completed. But still, no one wanted to lock him up. The last straw was when he started chewing on crewmember’s boots while they were still wearing them.

I have been unable to locate my pictures of Bear incarcerated. I was able to download two pictures of an Asiatic black bear posted by someone from an animal sanctuary in Northern Laos. Since Bear was an Asiatic black bear, Photos-7 & 8 both look just like I remember him.

Several of the Hmong acted like bear mahouts and would take turns letting Bear out of his cage several times a day to do his bear business in the woods. Since he liked food and beer he was easy to control.

Bear’s cage was located near a limestone karst past the West end of the runway. No matter how hot it was there was always a breeze by Bear’s cage. On top was the best breeze; note steps on West side of cage. So, after Bear’s incarceration it became a custom, late in the evening when the work was done, for people to gather around Bear’s cage to enjoy a daily debrief—bull session—while nursing an adult beverage. Bear would entertain everyone for an occasional beer.

If the crowd was not too rowdy, a small herd of mouse deer would come out and graze and play in a clearing near the cage. I am still trying to locate these photos. They were only twelve to eighteen inches tall and weighed from two to five pounds. I’m no expert, I have only held one.

At first sight they appeared to have the ability to teleport themselves. In the limited light, you could be watching one and all of a sudden he would disappear and reemerge a few feet away; as if by magic. If you watched very closely, without blinking, you could see they moved very quickly from one spot to the other. The limited light and the natural habit for humans to blink created the optical illusion. Add to that a few adult beverages and you have a mythical animal.

Sometime after Bear’s incarceration, at the start of the next rainy season, due to scheduling and weather I wound being the only pilot remaining over night—RON—at Alternate. After the work was done I was setting at Bear’s cage with several Filipino mechanics and a few Hmong soldiers. We were nursing our adult beverages and having fun trying to carry on a bull session with all the language barriers and dialects while watching Bear trick himself out.

About dark one of the ranking round-eyes at Alternate, Hogg, showed up and wanted me to accompany him up Skyline Ridge to a Hmong officer’s meeting. Every night meeting I had ever attended with any Hmong had turned into a drinking contest. Each Hmong had his own bottle of some kind of alcohol that he had flavored with some kind of root—maybe ginger. It was an insult not to take at least one drink with each Hmong. They did not keep very accurate dance cards—drink cards. Trying to save face, that one drink always turned into several with each Hmong. Since I had to fly the next day, I declined Hogg’s offer.

Hogg went into a long dissertation about this being an official meeting taking place in a new and secret command post and that everyone would be on duty. And, he really wanted me to know where this new command post was hidden in the jungle. This had some appeal, because of the amount of enemy fire as we were now getting, some of it direct artillery. At the end of every dry season and the beginning of the new rainy season the enemy would roll a few artillery pieces, which they usually abandoned during the wet, up close enough to a random friendly outpost to put the landing pads under direct fire. When that happens it will instantly blow a couple of double shots of fear up your skirt, I’m here to tell you.

I had also heard rumors that VP (General Vang Pao) was cracking down on drinking while on duty. Under the present conditions this offer was getting interesting. It would be nice to know where a new command post was located because one never knew when he might be running and seeking a friendly environment. Also I had always wanted to hike up Skyline Ridge. But, could I trust sly dog Hogg?

Then Hogg said, “You know we can’t go until we finish our drinks?”

For some reason, that sold me on trusting him, so I said, “Let me go get my flashlight and I’ll be ready.”

Hogg said, “No need, I have mine and we are just going up, dropping off some paper work, and coming right back down.”

So off we went. We walked West to the end of the clearing where the mouse deer played before turning right (North) on a path leading up hill and into the jungle.

Southeast Asian jungles usually have two canopies. The top canopy is around one hundred to two hundred feet high. The second canopy starts around thirty feet and goes up to around eighty feet. If you are in a spot under the top canopy where the second canopy has been removed you may be able to make out a few images on a moonlit night. However, if you are under both canopies after dark you can’t see bupkis. There is no light for an animal’s night vision to work. A night owl would have to wear headlights to hunt under both canopies at night.

As we hiked up hill we would occasionally come out of the jungle into a small clearing before entering the woods again. These clearings were the results of the slash and burn agriculture the Hmong practiced.

A little over two thirds of the way up, we entered a small clearing with a stream on the uphill side (North). Just after we crossed the stream we reentered the jungle. A few yards farther and we came up on several Hmong standing out side of a hut. We had completed the climb to the command post.

I followed the Hmong inside with Hogg bringing up the rear. Once inside I was surprised the command post was so dimly lit with only one candle. As my eyes began to adjust several more candles were lit. Soon I could see thirty to forty Hmong. We were there to celebrate a Hmong’s birthday party.

I looked at Hogg and all I could say was, “You bastard!” Oh, he thought that was funny.
 
If I were to successfully convince each one of these Hmong that I had had a drink with him, I would not be able to fly for at least a week, if I escaped being embalmed. I had to get out of there and still save face.

As the celebration began I started searching for an escape route. There were windows only on the South side of the hut and Hogg and the high ranking Hmong were blocking the only door which was on the east end.

The Hmong are not heavy drinkers, so as the spirits flowed they began to pay less and less attention to where I was. At some point I began to hear a voice that, due to the spirits, I became convinced was that of a genius. This voice kept saying to jump out the window when everyone else was busy toasting and cheering and head down the ridge and get some sleep.

Finally, enough spirits moved me to accept the voice of the genius and while everyone else was occupied I made a running jump out of the West window, the furthest from the rest of the crowd.

For a nanosecond there I thought I was a very clever boy, until I realized that my hang time had greatly exceeded the time I thought it would take for me to reach the ground. All Hmong houses are built on mountain sides with one side higher off the ground than the other, but they have windows on both sides. The fact that the command post I was just in had windows on only one side should have clued both my genius voice and myself into the fact that it was built beside a cliff. It was pitch dark and I had no idea how far it was down to the ground.

Then I began falling through the top of a tree. The roosting birds began squawking and flapping their wings—they could not fly away because they could not see—while I was grabbing anything I touched in order to slow my fall. Next I was falling through the part of the tree where the monkeys were sleeping. What a racket they were making as I was passing and grabbing everything I could. All the noise attracted the attention of other Hmong on the mountain—those celebrating heard nothing, of course—and I was afraid they would start shooting in the top of the trees. Thank God for gravity.

I had slowed my fall somewhat, but I was still falling fairly fast when I hit the ground. Fortunately I landed on a rather steep slope where a lot of the energy left in my fall was transferred into a slide downhill that sent hogs running and squealing off into the night. Each bush and small tree acted as a painful brake. Finally I hit a patch of what I think was young bamboo that stopped my slide and dumped me into what I guessed was the steam we had crossed before we got to the command post.

So there I stood, in a not too well known creek not only without a paddle, but more importantly without a flashlight. There was a clearing on the South side of the stream which gave me some vision in that direction. As I waded around in the stream I washed myself off while looking for the path downhill. I soon found the path and a stick to use as a blind man’s cane when I reentered the woods. I think it’s fair to say here that I had sobered up considerably since I cleared the window.

The trip downhill was not too bad. By walking slowly the stick helped me stay on the path in the jungle and the clearings were a piece of cake.

Soon I came to a clearing that had a little more light. I suspected the additional light was being reflected from the compound. I looked to the East end and saw the outline of the karsts by Bear’s cage. I was in the clearing where the mouse deer played. I remember thinking that the trip down the ridge really hadn’t taken that long, but then again, what’s time to a drunk?

I had to go by Bear’s cage to get to where I was sleeping. So I headed off towards the East end of the clearing.

As I was approaching Bear’s cage I gave him a friendly growl for the password. To my surprise there was no response so I looked in on him.

There he was lying on the floor of his cage snoring. Some sentry he was. I thought about rousting the drunken sot and standing him tall, but as I said earlier I had sobered up considerably.

However, I couldn’t just let it go so I poked him several times with my stick until he lifted his head up and looked at me. I then told him in no uncertain terms that I hoped he realized this was his lucky night, because if Hogg had come down the ridge with me there would have been no way that I could have talked both of us out of rousting his old drunken hairy carcass up.

Warning issued, I stumbled off to my cot.

The next morning came very early, but I was up in plenty of time to make my launch. I dreaded going by the kitchen because Hogg’s office was attached. I knew I was going to catch a bunch of flack for leaving the party early but I needed some coffee and food. When I entered the kitchen there was no Hogg. I got my coffee and food and headed to my helicopter.

It was a long day and the weather was terrible. Late morning I was able to re-supply a few of the higher pads—positions—before the weather socked in again. But the rest of the day I spent working the lower pads. Around two in the afternoon I had worked all the pads that the weather would permit. I was supposed to be relieved—returned to home base—late that evening. With the weather getting worse there was no chance of being relieved. So I taxied in and shut down.

Usually when I shut down at Alternate I go straight to the shower because the water for the shower we used was stored in roof top drums where the sun could warm them. The longer you waited, the colder the water. Today I skipped the shower and went to the kitchen to get my meeting with Hogg over with.

When I got to the kitchen Hogg was not in his office and it looked like it had not been disturbed from what I had seen earlier that morning. I thought that was strange…

The cook saw me and ask if I was hungry? I said yes and he said I have steak for you. With that he put what looked like a thick Kansas City strip steak in a hot frying pan full of grease. I have only had deep fried steak twice in my life and they were both very tasty.

While my steak was cooking I ask the cook where I could find Hogg.

He said that he had not seen Mr. Hogg all day.

I said I thought it might be a good idea for somebody to go and check on Mr. Hogg.

He said OK and sent two Hmong to check on Hogg.

As I was finishing up my meal, Hogg appeared in the kitchen with a Hmong under each arm for support. They brought him over to my table and helped him sit down. The cook brought him a large coffee mug and filled it about half full. I was curious about the half filled mug until I watched Hogg try to drink. Even half full he was shaking quite a bit out while trying to take a drink. The cook was pouring from experience.

When I got up that morning I felt like I had crawled down forty miles of bad dirt road, but here it was after two in the afternoon and Hogg looked like had died with his eyes half opened. Bad as he looked I had no compassion or sympathy for him after that crappy trick he pulled on me up on the ridge. As far as I was concerned he needed to suffer.

After Hogg was able to get a few swallows of coffee down he ask me, “Did you have any trouble getting me home last night?”

At first I thought he was kidding me, but I was not certain. Could it be he did not remember? He did look bad enough to have lost all his memory.

I looked him in the eye and answered him truthfully when I said, “Hogg I didn’t bring you home last night.”

He had a puzzled look on his face when he asked, “Well, who did bring me home last night? How did I get home?”

Now I was almost certain he had no clue as to how the evening ended. Again I answered him truthfully when I said, “I don’t know Hogg, I didn’t see you when you left the party.”

I knew for certain he didn’t have a clue about the end of last night’s festivities when he started asking every Hmong that came into the kitchen if they knew who had brought him home? After and hour or so, when it looked like he might make a full recovery, a Hmong came in and gave Hogg two names that he said got him to his bunk last night. Hogg thanked him.

After the Hmong had walked off Hogg turned to me and said, “One or both of them boys are going to be in big trouble if I can ever figure which one of them shit in my pants after they put me to bed.”
 
I’m telling ya, Mr Morris’ stories need to go in print somewhere
 
He’ll be at the bbq of course. He can’t be prompted very much but if you hang out around him you can hear these and other stories in person.

Plus how to solve all the worlds problems. Lol.
 
He has a gift, thanks for sharing
 
I’m telling ya, Mr Morris’ stories need to go in print somewhere

Air & Space Magazine and many of the stories featured in that publication are submitted by folks other than the subjects of the articles, i.e. sons, daughters, colleagues, etc......
 
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