Exspiravit
Mell-Known Wember
2A Bourbon Hound 2024
Benefactor
Life Member
Supporting Member
Multi-Factor Enabled
View attachment 616366
My Glock Apron, Glock shirt, Glock koozie, Glock bookbag, and Glock pen would all disagree.
It is morning, and I wake up at 6AM to the sound of 40 cal explosions from my Glock Clock™.
Opening my eyes I roll over and caress the Gaston Glock body pillow that has been my companion these many years.
"Guten Morgen, mein schatz" I whisper, resisting the urge to stay in bed longer. No, there are things to do, and Gaston will be here for me when I return home.
Rising from my rest, I slip my feet in luxurious black velvet Glock Slippers™ which are perfectly contoured to me feet and don't require any modification. I then put on my luxury Glock Bathrobe™ and start downstairs for breakfast.
As I walk past display cases of various Glock models, I can't help but stop to admire the Glock Horse Semen™ I paid an obscene amount of money for. It looks back at me from it's cryogenic display bottle, waiting on the day when I will buy a mare and produce an offspring worthy of the Glock name.
Downstairs, my Austrian maid greets me and at the table. Another breakfast of schwarzbrot and a boiled egg, just like Gaston eats.
Pulling up to sumptuous meal, my maid adorns me with my Glock Bib™ and puts a space age polymer Glock Spork™ in my hand that fits against my fingers without rubbing my knuckles the wrong way.
I gaze out on my lawn through the open window, admiring the IPSC targets swaying in the wind. The sun rises slowly over my estate, and as I take he first sip of my Glock Coffee™, or "Gloffee" as we patrician gun owners call it, I can only think of one word to describe my life.
"Perfection".